My Dad Is Already Dating. My Mom Just Died.

Note: You can see a video version of this post here.

A viewer writes, “Abel, what would you say about a widower whose wife went from completely healthy to dead in a month and a half, and then started seeing someone within two months? It feels incredibly disrespectful to my suddenly deceased mom.”

First, I want to acknowledge how painful that is. From your perspective, it can feel like your mom’s life and memory are being pushed aside way too quickly.

I think your dad likely has a big hole in his heart and is trying to fill it in the fastest way he knows how. For better or worse, that kind of behavior is more common in sudden-loss widowers than people realize. That doesn’t excuse it—but it does help explain it.

Now here’s the part you do have control over: how you respond to it.

You can’t control your dad’s timeline, his coping, or the choices he makes right now in his grief. But you can control your boundaries and how you protect your own relationship with your mom’s memory while still navigating your relationship with him.

That may mean having an honest conversation about how fast this feels. It may mean setting limits on what you’re willing to be around emotionally. But the goal isn’t to punish him—it’s to keep your own sense of respect and stability intact while he’s figuring out how to process a sudden loss.

Can Sons Become Mini-Husbands?

Note: Watch a video version of this post here.

A viewer writes, “Abel, can sons become a mini-wife?”

Yes—although in this case, it’s more accurate to call them a mini-husband. It’s not as common in widower relationships, but it does happen, especially with widows or after divorce. It starts when the parent starts treating the son like a surrogate spouse instead of a child. As a result, the son may become overly protective, possessive, or feel responsible for his mother’s emotional well-being and happiness.

That’s a heavy burden to put on anyone. And if it’s not addressed, it can create serious problems later in life and future relationships. The solution is the same as with a mini-wife dynamic: healthy boundaries. The parent has to stop leaning on the child emotionally and free them to live their own life—not fill the role of a spouse.

If you want to learn more, check out my video on mini-wives.

Kill Your Widower's Kids with Kindness

Are the widower’s adult or minor children not accepting you? If so, this video is for you.

This is for all the women who have tried to connect with the widowers' kids, friends, and family, and they won’t accept you. You've been kind and patient. You've bought the birthday gifts, shown up with a smile, tried to connect, and you're getting nothing back. They ignore you, they're curt with you, or they look right through you like you don't exist. And you're starting to wonder if any of this is even worth it.

Yes, it is, and my suggestion is to keep being kind.

Here's why.

When kindness isn't returned, the natural reaction is to pull back. You want to match their energy and have them feel the rejection and hurt you’re feeling. That instinct makes complete sense, but the moment you respond to their coldness with coldness, you've handed them a reason to justify how they're treating you. You've given them ammunition to continue their behavior. Don't do it because it will only make a bad situation last longer.

That said — I'm not telling you to be a doormat. If his kids are being genuinely disrespectful or abusive, that's a direct conversation you need to have with your widower. You don't absorb that in silence. And you don't have to keep putting yourself in situations where you're clearly not wanted. If you're being excluded or made to feel unwelcome, stop volunteering for it. What you can control is how you show up when you are present — the warmth you bring, the consistency of your character. That's where your kindness lives.

Now, the cold, standoffish behavior of his children isn't acceptable, and I'm not going to condone it What I’d like to do is give you some insight as to why they’re most likely behaving that way. What you're often up against is someone who’s lost their mother and is trying to figure out where you fit in their world — or whether you're even allowed to. That doesn't excuse how they're treating you, but it should change how you respond. You don't fight against grief and change. You outlast it.

And you don't outlast it alone — because here's where I'm going to speak directly to the widower's role, and it's non-negotiable. He needs to have your back. That doesn’t mean he referee every interaction. but when his kids are treating you poorly, he needs to address it. When you show up and make an effort, he needs to see it and acknowledge it. You should never be out there carrying this by yourself while he stays neutral, trying to keep the peace, because what he’s really doing is leaving you exposed. Being your boyfriend, husband, or partner means being in this with you — and if he's not doing that, there’s a different conversation that needs to happen with him.

Now, in all my years of coaching, the reason I suggest you return their coldness with kindness is that it works. The women who navigate this successfully keep showing up. They stay kind. They make sure their partner has the full picture and then they put in the effort regardless of how slow the progress feels. The truth is, people can only resist genuine kindness for so long. It doesn't happen fast or overnight, but it does happen slowly and gradually. When it’s applied consistently, it softens hearts every single time.

And even when it doesn't shift as fast as you want, choosing kindness frees you from lying awake replaying the cold look they gave you at dinner. You've made your decision. You know who you are in this situation. That clarity is worth more than people realize.

Keep showing up, keep going, and kill them with kindness. You don’t do this because they deserve it, but because you're planting seeds — and some of those seeds are going to grow into something you never thought was possible at the start.

I'm Abel Keogh, author of Dating a Widower: Starting a Relationship with a Man Who’s Starting Over, and I'll see you next week.

Her Stepchildren Call Her Mom Because Her Husband Always Backed Her

Note: Watch a video of this post here.

Her stepkids call her mom. This was the best social media post I saw this Mother's Day. In it, the woman tells a story about marrying a widower and becoming a stepmom to a 15 & 21 year old. She writes: "There were some difficult times but my husband always backed me and we made it through. He died of heart disease several years ago. Today 'my' kids introduce me as their mother and we have a loving, caring relationship. They remember me every Mother's Day. I am so blessed."

Did you see the reason their marriage succeeded and her kids call her mom today? It's not because she worked harder than every other stepparent — but because her husband did something many widowers have trouble doing: he backed her.

Now, she doesn't get into specifics, but I imagine it went something like this: When the kids pushed back on her rules, he stood beside her and enforced them. When they tried to go around her to get what they wanted, he redirected them back to her. When extended family questioned her role, he made clear she was his wife and she was the authority in their home.

That's the variable most widowers don't understand. You can't drop a new partner into a family that was functioning without her and expect everyone to just figure it out. Someone has to establish her place — and that job belongs to you.

The stepchildren didn't bond with her despite the hard moments. They bonded with her because their dad showed them, over and over, that she mattered.

You can't control whether your kids accept her. You can't force them to open their hearts. But you can control whether you back her — whether you make her place in your home and your life impossible to miss. And when you do that consistently, you give your kids a reason to come around. You give them an incentive to accept the relationship and her place in it.

That's what this widower did. And years later, when he was gone, his kids held onto her — because he had shown them she was worth holding onto.

The Mini-Wife Trap: How Widowers Create It and What It Takes to Break It

Is your daughter filling a role she was never meant to play? After losing a spouse, many widowers unknowingly pull their daughters into an emotional partnership—leaning on them for comfort, decision-making, and companionship. It feels natural and loving, but it's not. It's the mini-wife trap, and it's doing real damage to your daughter, your relationship, and your future with a new partner.

In this video, I break down how this dynamic starts, why widowers miss the signs, and — most importantly — what it actually takes to lead your family back to healthy ground.

If you're in a relationship with a widower and something feels off with his daughter, this video will help you understand what you're dealing with.

If you're a widower and you suspect this might be your household — this one's for you.

There's a dynamic that quietly destroys more widowed relationships than almost anything else and most people don't even know it has a name. It's called the mini-wife. And if you're living with that right now, this video is going to be one of the most important ones you watch.

So what exactly is a mini-wife? It's when a widower's daughter—typically an adult daughter with a life of her own—gradually steps into the role that belonged to her mother. She runs the household, manages her father's emotional life, and positions herself as the most important person in his world. And the widower, out of grief, guilt, laziness, or simply not knowing any better, does nothing to correct it.

It looks a little different in every family, so let me give you some real-world examples I've seen in my coaching practice:

• Sometimes she runs the household. She cooks, plans holidays, vacations, and family activities. She also holds veto power over anything that might change how the house looks, even if she doesn't live there. Anything that might "erase" mom gets shut down fast.

• In other cases, she becomes his emotional partner. He vents to her, processes his grief through her, leans on her for comfort in ways that belong between spouses—not a father and daughter. Because she's grieving too, neither of them recognizes how unhealthy the dynamic has become.

• In another example, she parents him instead of the other way around. She tells him what to do, where to go, who to see, and when. The parent roles have quietly reversed, and nobody's correcting it.

• Finally, when he starts dating, she becomes the gatekeeper — making her disapproval known, seeking constant attention to hold her position, and engineering one-on-one time that deliberately excludes the new woman. And too often, dad lets her win.

Underneath all of these examples is a deep sense of entitlement: she should always come first. No exceptions or negotiation is ever allowed.

Sound familiar?

How the Mini-Wife Happens

Many of you are probably wondering how it starts. Well, here's the thing — this rarely starts as something obvious or intentional. Most of the time, the mini-wife dynamic develops out of love, grief, and survival. When someone loses a spouse, they lean on the people closest to them. That's human and normal. A daughter who steps up to help her grieving father is doing something that comes from a good intentions.

However, somewhere along the way, the dynamic shifts from healthy to unhealthy, from temporary to permanent — and by the time it becomes a problem, everyone has gotten used to it. The widower defers to her not because he's checked out, but because it feels natural at this point. And that comfort is exactly what makes it so hard to resolve.

Left unaddressed, the mini-wife dynamic costs everyone in the picture — the widower, his daughter, and the woman he's dating.

If you’re the widower with a mini-wife: This dynamic lets you avoid the real work of grief. Instead of processing your loss and eventually opening your heart to a new partner, you've unconsciously outsourced your emotional needs to your daughter. It feels comfortable — it probably even feels like family — but it's keeping you stuck. This dynamic will sabotage every relationship you try to build until you address it. Yes, your daughter is important, but she should not be the emotional center of your life, and she should never have control over your personal decisions.

For the daughters who are mini-wives: Being your father's emotional support was never your burden to carry. Women who take on the mini-wife role often develop distorted ideas about relationships, struggle with boundaries, and carry anxiety and responsibility that was never theirs to bear. You’re probably doing this because you and your father are trying to hold what's left of the family together. As admirable as your intentions are, you’re an adult who needs to build your own life, your own relationships, and your own future. The mini-wife role doesn't just hold your father back — it holds you back too. You have a life to live too.

For the new woman whose widower has a mini wife: If this is your reality, you already know how isolating it feels. You're not just competing with the memory of his late wife — you're competing with a living, breathing person who has been elevated to a position you're supposed to hold. You get cast as the outsider. Sometimes as the villain. You try to connect with the family and hit a wall every time. And when you bring it up, you risk looking like you're jealous of a child. It's an impossible position — and you deserve to know it's not in your head. However, this isn’t your problem to fix.

How to Fix the Mini-Wife Problem

So, how does one fix the mini-wife dilemma? Getting back to a healthy father-daughter relationship starts and ends with the widower because he's the one who has to lead. Here's how it’s done:

First, reassert your role as the parent. Do it with love and patience, but do it clearly and firmly so your daughter understands where things stand. She needs a father, not a partner. That means you make the adult decisions and set healthy boundaries with her. You also stop processing your emotional life through her.

Give her permission to just be your daughter again. She may resist at first — she's gotten used to this role, and stepping out of it can feel like another kind of loss. But give her the relief of not having to carry it anymore. Give her the freedom to focus on her own life. Bring in support if you need it. A family therapist who understands grief and blended family dynamics can make an enormous difference — for both of you.

If your daughter pushes back hard — and she probably will—let her. If she threatens to cut off contact, let her take that path. It will give her the time and space she needs to process her own grief and emotions. When she's worked through it, she'll be in a far better place to have a healthy relationship with both you and your new partner.

Here's the bottom line: If you're watching this and recognizing your own household — that's your sign. Not tomorrow. Now. You're not protecting your daughter by keeping things the way they are — you're failing her. She didn't ask for this role. She inherited it because you weren't ready to lead. The most loving thing you can do right now is take it back. Stop leaning on her and start leading her. Free her from a role she was never supposed to carry.

I’m Abel Keogh, author of the book, Dating a Widower, and I’ll see you all next week.

My Jealous Boyfriend Dumped Me Because I Love My Late Husband

Note: You can see a video version of this post here.

A viewer writes: "Abel, I'm a widow, and my boyfriend just dumped me because he was jealous that I will always love my late husband. What advice do you have for people dating a widow or widower so they won’t be so jealous?"

As a remarried widower and relationship coach, I've worked with a lot of people navigating this exact situation — and that jealousy rarely comes out of nowhere. The primary reason someone feels jealous of dating a widowed person is that the widow or widower keeps their late spouse front and center in a new relationship and expects their new partner to just accept it. Because of their actions, the new partner starts to feel like they're competing with a ghost or that there are three people in the relationship.

Now, are there some people who simply aren't cut out to date a widow or widower? Sure. But they're the exception, not the rule. In most cases, the jealousy is a direct response to the widow or widower's behavior.

So yes, it takes a special person to love someone who's lost a spouse, but it also takes a widowed person who's truly ready to open their heart and build a new life, not just fill a void. Before you ask your new partner to be more understanding, ask yourself: Am I actually showing up for this relationship — or am I still living in the last one?

That's the real question, and only you know the honest answer.

Grief: The Origin Story, Not the Ending | How to Stop Being Stuck After Loss

There's a version of your life where loss defines you forever, and there's a version where it's the origin story and made you into someone your former self couldn't have imagined. This video is about the difference between those two movies, and the single decision that determines which one you end up in. If you've been stuck in grief, and some part of you already knows it's time, this is the permission you've been waiting for.

A widower, who lost his wife four years ago, posted on social media that he's still completely stuck in a life rut. Some examples he gave include:

• Her closet is untouched, three rooms sit frozen in place, and he hasn't dealt with a single thing from the day she died.

• He hasn't dated, doesn't feel worthy of anyone's time, and is losing the drive to even try to change.

• He's raising four kids alone and feels completely disconnected — from his wife's presence, from himself, from any sense of what comes next.

Now this widower’s situation isn’t that uncommon, and a lot of people in the comments, many fellow widows and widowers themselves, were being kind and sympathetic to his plight. And, to an extent, I get that. But I want to talk about something that might actually help him, because kindness isn't always the same thing as truth.

Grief and loss are among the heaviest burdens a person can carry. Losing a spouse rewrites your entire life, including your routine, identity, and what the future looks like. In the months after loss, you deserve every bit of grace while you try to figure things out. But here's what nobody tells you: at some point, kindness, grace, and sympathy stop serving you and start protecting you from the very thing you need to do.

The people who recover from devastating loss and go on to build something meaningful all have one thing in common: at some point, they stopped identifying as someone who was grieving and started identifying as someone who was rebuilding. That shift doesn't mean forgetting their late spouse or whoever they lost, nor does it mean their grief isn't real or the loss profound. It just means they decided which movie they were the main character in: the one where grief is the permanent backdrop of their life, or the one where grief is the origin story.

Think about that for a minute. There are only two movies. In one of them, the house stays exactly as she left it, the closet stays untouched, the rooms stay frozen, and every day looks like the last. The main character—YOU—is defined by what he lost. In the other movie, the same loss happens — same grief, same pain, same love — but you use it to change for the better. Instead of being stuck, you start building something new out of the ashes. Same inciting event. Two completely different stories. The only difference is the decision about which one to be in.

Here's the truth: you already know which movie you're in. You don't need someone to tell you. When grief has gone on long enough, it stops being something happening to you and starts being something you're choosing—perhaps quietly and unconsciously—but it’s something you’re choosing nonetheless. The routines that keep you frozen, the spaces you haven't touched, the decisions you've stopped making, that’s infrastructure, but to keep your life from moving forward after loss.

Now, the good news is that what is keeping you stuck can be dismantled, and here are 3 steps to get you unstuck and become the hero in your own movie.

First, clear out what's keeping you stuck. Here's what happens after loss that nobody talks about: the physical world freezes. You stop moving things because moving things feels like erasure. You leave the closet untouched because opening it means accepting something you're not ready to accept. The photos stay exactly where they are, the clothes stay folded, the car stays parked — and every single one of those things sends your brain the same quiet signal: nothing has changed. But everything has changed. And surrounding yourself with evidence to the contrary doesn't bring them back — it just keeps you from moving forward. So look around and ask yourself honestly: is each thing a tribute, or a trap? Is it honoring the love, or is it holding the grief in place? Deep down, you already know the difference.

Next, break the routines that have become a substitute for living. Nobody tells you that grief has a rhythm. But it does. After a loss, you settle into patterns that help you survive — and for a while, that's exactly what they're for. They're scaffolding. They hold you up while you figure out how to stand on your own. But scaffolding is supposed to come down. Same chair, same show, same order to the day — at some point, the scaffolding becomes the structure, and you stop noticing it's there. The routines stop being something that helps you get through the grief and start being something that keeps you in it. So change something. Even something small. Not because the routine is wrong, but because you are capable of more than repeating yesterday. Every break in the pattern is proof that time is still moving — and so are you.

Finally, start making decisions again — because decisions are how you take back control. Here's the paradox of grief: at the very moment life feels most out of control, the instinct is to stop trying to control anything at all. Stop planning. Stop reaching out. Stop deciding. Because if you don't try, you can't fail. If you don't move, nothing can go wrong. But that instinct, left unchecked, hands control of your life over to inertia — and inertia is a terrible thing to be in charge of your future. So take it back. Pick up the phone and invite a friend to dinner. Sign up for a class. Find somewhere to volunteer. Take a trip. Give dating a try — not because you have it all figured out, but because doing something is how you remember that you're someone who can. You're not looking for instant transformation. You're looking to put your hands back on the wheel. Every decision, however small, is an act of reclaiming your life. And the people who come out the other side of real loss don't just survive it — they use it. They become someone their former self couldn't have been without it.

The movie worth being in isn't the one where loss defines you — it's the one where it forges you. Nobody's asking you to forget your late spouse or pretend the grief wasn't real. But you're still here. And while you're still here, the story isn't over. In one version of it, you stay in the same chair, in the same house, surrounded by the past — waiting for a life that isn't coming back. In the other, you become someone your former self couldn't have imagined: someone who was cracked open by the worst thing that ever happened and came out the other side bigger, stronger, and more fully alive because of it. That person exists. He or she is in you right now. The only thing standing between you and him is a single decision: to act or be acted upon.

I’m Abel Keogh, author of the book, Dating a Widower, and I’ll see you all next week!

6 New Video Shorts

I recently posted 6 new video shorts on my YouTube channel that cover topics from red flags to look for when dating a widower and what to do if the widower hides you from his kids and others. Links below. (Sadly, this blog platform won’t allow me to embed shorts for some reason.)

• How long should I wait for commitment from a widower?

• It’s hard to move on after loss

• Watch out for these 3 red flags when dating a widower!

• Don’t settle for hidden love

• Widowed and dating?

• How many red flags can you count?

Enjoy!

My Kids Want Me to Live Miserably and Die Alone.

If you're a parent in that situation right now, I want you to hear this clearly: you don't need your adult children's permission to move forward with your life.

Imagine sacrificing twelve years of your life for your kids — and then having those same kids try to guilt you out of ever being happy again. That's exactly what's happening in this post, and it's more common than you'd think.

This post came from a widower on Reddit, and I want to walk through it because I think a lot of people are going to see themselves in this story.

He writes that his wife passed away from cancer twelve years ago, leaving him alone with three kids. And listen to what he did — he never dated. Not once. He even admits that if he had tried, his kids wouldn't have approved anyway, so he just focused entirely on them. He gave them everything.

Fast forward to today. His oldest daughter is married. His two younger sons are in college and out of the house. And now it's just him. Every single day he leaves for what he calls his "soul sucking job," and every single evening he comes home to an empty house — exactly the way he left it. No warm meal. No noise. No one to come home to.

He's 48 years old and in good health, and he's finally started talking to a friend's divorced sister. They like each other. That's it. They're just talking.

But his friend's son — who happens to be close with his youngest — found out and told the kids. And now all three of them are angry at him for, in his words, "moving on." He says they just want him to keep living a miserable life to honor their mom.

Think about that for a second. They believe the only way to prove he loved her is to spend the rest of his life alone and miserable.

So here's what I want to say directly to his kids: You're a bunch of jerks

. Your father spent twelve years putting you first. Twelve years of coming home to that empty house, grinding through a job he hates, raising you on his own after an enormous loss — all while carrying a grief that most people can't even imagine. He did all of that for you. Without complaint. And now that you're grown, out of the house, and living your own full lives, he's supposed to just stop? Freeze in place? Keep the house quiet and the table empty forever as some kind of tribute to your mom? That is not honoring her. That is needless suffering — and you're the ones demanding it. That says a lot more about you than it does about him. Your dad loving someone new does not erase your mom. It does not mean he loved her any less, and it does not mean he's forgotten her. He can carry her in his heart for the rest of his life and still choose not to be alone. Those two things are not in conflict. So instead of policing how your dad is living his life, maybe focus on living your own.

And to the widower himself: It’s time to set some healthy boundaries with your kids. Their feelings are not a life sentence. You are 48 years old with decades ahead of you, and you deserve more than an empty house and a job you hate. You are allowed to want another fulfilling relationship — someone to come home to, someone to share the good days and the hard ones with. And here's something I really want you to hear: that is not a betrayal of your marriage. In fact, choosing to open your heart again, to keep living fully and completely — that's one of the best ways you can honor your late wife. It shows that the life you built together meant something. That love is worth pursuing again.

Your kids are adults. So are you. You do not need their permission to move forward and have a life.

And consider this: how you handle this moment will be the model your kids carry with them for the rest of their lives. One day, some of them may face loss too. And when they do, they'll remember what you did right now — whether you shrunk back to keep the peace, or whether you showed them that it's okay to keep living, to keep choosing life, even after grief. You raised your kids. You loved your wife. You grieved. You still get to have a future — just like they do.

I'm Abel Keogh, author of the book Dating a Widower, and I'll see you all next week.

Love and the Law of Sacrifice

There’s one reliable way to know how committed a widower really is to you and the relationship.

There’s one reliable way to know how committed a widower really is to you and the relationship. Any guesses?

Let me give you some clues: It’s not his words, it’s not his intention, and it has nothing to do with how much he says he loves you.

It’s something I call the Law of Sacrifice. And depending on how much a widower follows this law, you can know how committed he is to you and the relationship.

The Law of Sacrifice is simple: What someone is willing to give up—or change—reveals what they truly value.

In relationships, sacrifice answers a very specific question: What ranks higher than the person he’s committed his heart to—and what doesn’t?

Sacrificial actions cut through confusion quickly and easily reveal where the widower’s heart really lies

Now, the keyword in this law is 'willing'. Sacrifice can not be forced. It MUST be voluntary. If a change is demanded, negotiated, or dragged out of someone, it’s not sacrifice—it’s compliance.

Real sacrifice happens when someone chooses to give something up because the relationship matters more than their convenience. Let me give you three personal examples.

When I was dating Julie, I woke up before 5 a.m. and drove to her apartment and run with her every morning. Even though I’m a morning person, I didn’t enjoy getting up that early. I could have easily slept in until 6 and ran by myself. However, I did it morning after morning because I wanted time with her and wanted to participate in an activity she loved and was important to her. Most importantly, I was willing to give up sleep and a warm bed to get it.

As our relationship became more serious, I had to redefine relationships with friends and family that were getting in the way of us moving forward. Those conversations were uncomfortable. Some were painful. But I had them anyway because Julie mattered more than traditions or making everyone happy.

After we got engaged, I put my newly remodeled house on the market. Not because I had to, but because I knew the best thing for our marriage was to start fresh in a place that wasn’t tied to my past.

That’s what sacrifice does: It exposes priorities.

Words are cheap. Routines are easy. Sacrifice is often uncomfortable and that’s why it exposes people’s true feelings.

Without sacrifice, commitment is shallow. And shallow commitment doesn’t survive hard times. Deep sacrifice creates deep commitment. Let me repeat that: Deep sacrifice creates deep commitment. And if you both have a deep commitment to each other, the two of you can overcome anything life throws at you.

Now, some of you are probably thinking, Why is this all on the widower? Why does he have to be the one making sacrifices?

He doesn’t.

For a relationship to last, both people must make sacrifices.

Julie made sacrifices, too. After we moved, she had to endure a much longer commute to and from work. She also married someone, knowing that a small part of his heart would always belong to someone else. (If you want the full list of her sacrifices, we share them in our book The Wife in the Next Life.)

The reality is that sacrifice will cause discomfort. It may bring loss and stress. It may even hurt. It may mean your entire life has to change. (And, let’s be honest—if an action doesn’t cost you something, it’s probably not a sacrifice.) But like all worthwhile things, the reward comes after the discomfort, the pain, and the hurt.

So here’s the bottom line: If you’re confused about where you stand with a widower—or anyone else—stop listening to what he says and start watching what he’s willing to give up.

Whatever he protects is his real priority. Whatever he sacrifices tells you where his heart really is. If he’s not willing to change his life for the relationship, then the relationship isn’t central to his life. And that clarity, even when it’s painful, frees you to make the right decision on what to do next.

I’m Abel Keogh, author of Dating a Widower: Starting a Relationship with a Man Who’s Starting Over, and I’ll see you next week.