You can see a video version of this post here.
A viewer writes:
“How long do you wait for a widower to fix his financial and professional stability? He lost his wife a year ago. Said he was ready to date again. But in the five months I’ve known him, I’ve seen ZERO effort in healing or moving forward. Professionally and financially, things are really bad. He won’t talk about anything meaningful. Am I being selfish or insensitive? Any advice?”
Here’s the hard truth:
You should expect the same basic behavior from a widower that you would from any single or divorced man. If he tells you he’s ready for a relationship, his actions should back that up.
Five months is plenty of time to see whether he’s moving forward. If there’s been zero progress—emotionally, financially, professionally—and he refuses to have real conversations, that’s not grief talking. That’s avoidance. And avoidance is a massive red flag.
I don’t know why his finances or career are in trouble, but the bigger issue is this: he’s not doing anything to fix it. And he’s not letting you in. That tells you everything you need to know.
At the end of the day, actions speak louder than words. And his actions are saying he’s nowhere near ready to open his heart or build a real partnership.
Don’t wait around hoping he’ll magically change. Cut ties now before you invest more time, emotion, or resources in someone who’s not ready—and isn’t making you or the relationship a priority.