Dating a Widower: Starting a Relationship with a Man Who's Starting Over
Is the Widower You’re Dating Ready to Open His Heart?
Dating a widower comes with challenges you won’t face when dating a single or divorced man. For the relationship to work, he must set aside the past and make room for you in his future. But how do you know if he’s truly ready to take that step?
Drawing on his own experience as a remarried widower, relationship coach Abel Keogh offers candid insight into the hearts and minds of widowers, including:
Why widowers often start dating so soon after loss
How to know if he’s ready to open his heart to you
Red flags that show he’s not ready for commitment
How to set and maintain healthy boundaries with widowers
Dating a Widower is your guide to building a strong, lasting relationship with a man who’s starting over. Featuring over 20 real-life stories from women who have walked this road, it will help you decide if the widower you’re seeing is ready for new love—and if dating a widower is right for you.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1: Why Do Widowers Date Soon After Their Late Wives Die?
Chapter 2: Widower Psychology 101
Chapter 3: Five Red Flags to Watch for When Dating a Widower
Chapter 4: The Two Big Mistakes Women Make When Dating a Widower
Chapter 5: The Confidence Game
Chapter 6: Sex and Intimacy with Widowers
Chapter 7: Remembering the Late Wife
Chapter 8: Widowers and Social Media
Chapter 9: How to Talk to a Widower
Chapter 10: What to Do If Your Relationship with a Widower Ends
Chapter 11: Marrying a Widower
Introduction to the Second Edition
I wrote the first edition of Dating a Widower because I witnessed too many women getting hurt after starting serious relationships with widowers who weren’t mentally or emotionally ready for commitment. While the first edition provided important guidance to thousands of women, there are subjects and topics that needed to be added. For example, social media was a new thing and didn’t even receive a mention in the first edition. Since then, sites like Facebook and Instagram have become an integral part of most people’s lives. As a result, this edition addresses questions like what to do with the late wife’s Facebook page, and whether it’s appropriate for widowers to post photos and memories of their late wives after they start dating.
This edition also provides insight into widower psychology so that you can better understand their thought processes and the reasons behind their words and actions. Empowered with this knowledge, you can identify red flags and know if a widower is ready to open his heart to you or is simply looking for a placeholder while he grieves.
Finally, this edition teaches you how to set and maintain healthy boundaries with widowers. It’s not easy to ask someone who’s lost a spouse to put the past to the side and make you number one, but setting healthy boundaries is vital for your mental health and emotional wellbeing. It is a dependable way to know if widowers are serious about starting a new relationship.
Dating widowers comes with a host of unique challenges and issues you won’t experience in other relationships. Whether you’ve just met or are in a long-term, serious relationship, this book helps you know where the widower is on his grief journey and if he’s ready and willing to start a new chapter of his life. It also provides the guidance and clarity you need to asses and determine if dating a widower is right for you.
My wife, Julianna, and I wish that a resource like this book had been available when we were dating. It would have helped me understand my confusing and conflicting feelings and helped Julianna better navigate the unique issues she encountered. Our story, along with the experiences of many other women, are part of this book. It is my hope that these stories, along with all the supplemental information, will help you know if the widower you’re dating is ready to open his heart and spend the rest of his life with you.
Abel Keogh
August 2025