LOST: One of Us

For all those who have been complaining about LOST not giving any answers to some of the mysteries surrounding the Others and the Island, I hope you watched last night episode. *** Spoiler Alert ***

Last night we learned more about the Others, why they’re taking children and are interested on some of the castaways, a possible reason why Claire was “kidnapped,”  how they (used to) communicate with the outside world and how they know so much about the passengers.

Don’t start complaining that it raised even more questions than it answered. Be patient. In the remaining episodes this season, I wouldn’t be surprised if we see many more long-standing questions answered while other mysteries are opened. Save your complaints until season three is over.

Even though Juliet seems to be working with Ben to deceive Jack and the other passengers of flight 815, I’m not convinced she’s completely aligned with them. She’s wanted to get off the island for years and Ben hasn’t let her. I think she’s following along with them because she believes Ben will find a way to get her off the island – something she’s wanted to do for three years. One of the things her flashback illustrated is how important getting of the rock is to her. Don’t be surprised if she opens up to Jack and fills him in a little on what is really going on if she sees that as the best way to get her off the island. Her loyalty lies with those who can help her the most.

I’m wondering if the “incident” Roseau referred to back in Season 1 has to do something with women on the island not being able to carry their pregnancy to term. Ben said he was born on the island so we can assume that at some point women could safely carry their babies to term. Maybe the mysterious Dharma Initiative did something that messed with the island’s mysterious properties. Of course the real question is what are the Others going to do with Sun once they find out she’s pregnant?

Finally, interesting that the Others seem to have different names for some of the passengers. Juliet refers to Kate as “Austin” when she’s talking about their plan to infiltrate the survivors. (This isn’t the first time they’ve done this.) Anyone have any theories as to why?

Also of interest is when Juliet told Sayid he’d kill her if he knew what she knew. Many of the Others, when caught, have preferred death to captivity. Makes you wonder what’s really going on.

The Great Consumer Easter Egg Scramble

 

Each year the city my family lives in holds an Easter egg scramble. About 10,000 of those pastel-colored, plastic eggs are scattered throughout the city’s largest park. The eggs are filled with candy, toys, or prize coupons. All children 12 and under are welcome to take part.

After watching my two boys participate in it for the first time last weekend, I’m wondering if we’ll do it again next year. Instead of a fun-filled event, the scramble turned in to an ugly display of the consumer mentality – the idea that there’s never enough and one has to get what he or she can before others take it.

Our two boys aren’t old enough to understand the finer points of an Easter egg scramble which, last time I checked, is to gather as many eggs as fast as you can.

My oldest son, almost three, gathers eggs at a pace that makes a sloth look like a cheetah. He needs to proudly show Mom and Dad the egg he’s found then shake it to make sure there’s candy inside before he moves on to the next one.

My 18-month-old is more likely to pick up one egg, open it, and devour the candy inside and forget about the other eggs. One Easter egg filled with treats is more than enough to bring a smile to his face.

Our two boys fell in the three-and-under section of the scramble. Parents were told they were allowed to aid their kids in gathering eggs. My wife and I assumed this meant accompanying our boys and pointing to an egg and, perhaps, giving one to show them how it was done and encouraging them to pick up another one.

It seemed like the other kids in this section were as clueless as our boys as to why they were there. Though a few three-year-olds wanted to run out and grab some eggs early most of the kids clung to mom or dad or ran around on the grass, playing. A two-year-old girl with dark red hair standing next to us seemed more interested in trying to play with our boys than going after Easter eggs.

Then the horn sounded and chaos ensued.

The parents in our section descended upon the candy-filled eggs, dragging their children behind them. From the way many parents acted you’d have thought these were the last Easter eggs on Earth or that one of them held a million dollar prize. They’d pick up an egg, throw it in the child’s basket, and quickly pounce on the next egg before the kid knew what was happening.

In less than 30 seconds the several thousand eggs in our section were gathered. Most of the kids still had dazed looks on their faces when it was over. They seemed to be asking the same question as my wife and I: “What just happened?”

We thought the Easter egg scramble was for kids, not parents. The event should have taken ten minutes – not 30 seconds. It should have been a chance for the kids to have fun and learn how to compete with each other, not with adults.

Sadly, the parent’s fear or loss overpowered what should have been a fun event for children. Instead of letting kids enjoy gathering eggs according to their own ability, it turned into a depressing spectacle of parents pushing each other out of the way for a plastic egg filled with a few pieces of candy.

Our experience on Saturday showed that our children are too young to fully understand and appreciate the purpose of an Eater egg scramble.

Unfortunately, most parents didn’t seem to understand the purpose of it either.

***

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This essay was originally published on FreeCapitalist.com. You can read all of Abel's FreeCapitalist essays here.

If the Shoe Fits, Wear It

For the last 18 months Marathon Girl and I have been ordering our running shoes online. Since we both prefer running shoes that happen to be hard to find in regular sporting good stores, it’s been much easier to click the mouse a few times and have the shoes delivered to hour house as opposed to spending an afternoon shopping. We found a good, reliable store in Maryland, Holabird Sports, that not only sold the shoes we wanted for less than what we could pay for here, but were always delivered them promptly to our house. Then Runner’s World had to go and mess everything up.

In October they listed Marathon Girl’s favorite running shoe as a Best Buy. Since then it seems like all the runners in the world have jumped on the I-must-buy-this-shoe bandwagon and suddenly shoes in Marathon Girl’s size have been notoriously hard to find. Yesterday Marathon Girl mentioned her current shoes were feeling a little worn so I went online to buy some for her. Instead of the usual three minutes it took me to place the order, I spent 30 minutes just trying to find a pair. Finally I was able to find a pair at Zappos.com. Even though they were more expensive than Holabird, overnight shipping was included in the price so Marathon Girl was able to break in her new shoes the next day.

The thing with any shoe, running or otherwise, is that is has to feel good to your foot. Just because a magazine or Web site recommends shoe doesn’t mean it’s going to feel good when you use it. For example, I’ve never been able to wear Doc Martins because they never felt good to my foot. Their sole was always felt too hard for my tender feet.

I’ve even had to find new running shoes on occasion. Soon after Marathon Girl and I were married, I bought a pair of Nikes that I had been using for several years. But this new version of the shoe didn’t feel right. It started rubbing my foot the wrong way. So after only eight miles of use, I gave the shoe to one of my brothers to use. (It worked great for him.) Meanwhile I had to find another type of shoe that felt good when I ran. (Thankfully Marathon Girl knows enough about running shoes that she told me to try Adidas who, in her opinion, make the best athletic shoes in the world. I now agree with her assessment.)

So to all runners who are jumping on the Runner’s World recommendation bandwagon, please find a shoe that you, not the editors of some magazine, are comfortable with. Recommendations are nice but that doesn’t mean it will help you run faster or feel good on your foot. Find a shoe that works for you and stay with it, please.

LOST: Left Behind

It’s been said that we’re no more than six “steps” away from each other – that we are all in some way connected to each other. This connectivity we all have brings about those small world moments when we meet someone and discover we have a common friend or acquaintance, went to the same school, or have some other connection to each other. One of the things I enjoy LOST is they way it shows how everyone’s lives on the island are in someway intertwined with each other. It’s not just the fact they shared an airplane that crashed on the island, but that many of their lives are connected in more personal ways. For example, Anna Lucia knew Jack’s father in Australia. Jack and Claire are (thought they don’t know it) are half-siblings.

This week we saw how in her past life Kate met up with Cassidy, a woman who was conned by Sawyer and is pregnant with his child. It was a sad connection. Both of these women felt betrayed by people they loved and Kate was determined to know why her mother turned her into the police.

In a heartbreaking but realistic scene Kate finally has a chance to talk with her mom wondering why she wasn’t glad her abusive husband was killed. "You can't help who you love, Katherine, and for good or bad I loved him," she tells Kate. Kate then tells her mom that she killed her stepfather for her (Kate’s mom). But her mom replies that Kate did it for herself.

Cassidy feels the same way about Sawyer as Kate mom feels for her deceased husband. Even though he conned her out of her life savings, Cassidy was still loves him and still hopes he’ll come back to her which is why she has yet to call the police.

I don’t think the writers are making these connections haphazardly. I think at the end of the show a lot of the characters are going to realize the connections they share and that many of them were brought to the island for a specific purpose. (This is something I actually think Locke understands better than any of the characters on the island.)

***

I love it when the black cloud (a.k.a. the security system, smokey) is on the show. And after yesterday’s episode there’s an interesting theory over on LostEasterEggs about the black cloud that pops up occasionally.

…as Smokey approaches the fence, there are three large “heads” that are very noticeable. Could the it be confirmation that Smokey is indeed the “Cerberus” mentioned on the Blast Door Map? It is possible that Smokey is comprised of three separate entities that are capable of joining together, or working independently?

To see an image of the three heads, click here.

Who's Your Tiger?

Mitch Albom has a great column yesterday on the Detroit Tigers. An excerpt:

Not too long ago, you — me, we — were all blissfully done with this habit. Not too long ago, April was just the month that came after March, as it was in the years before Detroit had a baseball franchise.

That's because over the last decade, for all intents and purposes, Detroit didn't have a baseball franchise. Oh, there were men in uniforms. Oh, they took the field and they came to bat and they sold hot dogs and people paid for parking.

But it wasn't much to watch. Some years the Tigers were bad, and some years they were really bad. Occasionally, they were truly awful.

And now?

Now they are good.

Now they are the defending American League champions.

Now they are the guys who did everything but win the World Series.

And here you are again, all revved up with someplace to go.

Too bad the Tigers lost their opening day game to Toronto 5-3. Still, this is a season to look forward to. And instead of hiding my face in shame, I'm quite proud to wear my baseball hats with the old English "D"

Go Tigers!

Paying for College

Call me heartless, but I’m not paying for my children’s college education. I’m not going to write a check when their tuition bill arrives or put money aside in an educational savings account for them. If my kids want to attend an institution of higher learning, they’re going to have to pay for it themselves. Yet parents are told that if we don’t start saving now, our kids will never be able to afford school and be shut out for the American Dream.

Baloney.

Sure, college is expensive. This year students attending a public university will shell out an average of $5,836 dollars a year for tuition and fees if they attend a public university. You can more than double that figure if you include room and board charges. Private university students can pay over $22,000 in tuition and fees.But what’s wrong with the idea of encouraging our children to pay for it through working, scholarships, loans, or a combination of the three?

People tend to value things more when they have an ownership interest in it. Whether it’s a house, a car, or a college degree, once someone becomes responsible for paying for it, it often means more to them. This was my experience with college.

The first college I attended was a small community college in Wyoming. Because my dad was a professor there, my tuition and fees were waived. I enjoyed my two years there but certainly didn’t study as hard as I should have. I did just enough to get by and left after two years with a B+ average. I could have done much better.

Then I transferred to a large out-of-state university. Because of my mediocre grades and accomplishments at my first school, scholarship money was not forthcoming. After realizing that the paying school was going to fall on me, I had to make a choice: either pay for it myself or drop out.

I decided to continue school. That first tuition check I wrote nearly wiped out my savings account. But one thing did change: my grades and overall school performance improved dramatically. My first quarter back, I earned straight A’s. I studied harder, settled on a major, and made sure I was taking classes that would help me obtain a degree quickly. All of the hard work eventually paid off. Some of my writings won awards and was published. I was invited to participate in conferences. If mom and dad had been paying the bill, I doubt I would have motivated to accomplish as much as I did.

Let me make one thing clear: I don’t have anything against a college education. I found my college experience to be worthwhile and it helped develop my unique skills and abilities. But I also want my children to develop their talents so they can be successful and love what they do with their life.

If my kids think college is a good way to develop their unique abilities, then I will certainly encourage them to attend. But not everyone has the capability or aptitude to do well in a college environment and a college degree ticket isn’t a magic ticket to a successful and happy life. I want those to go to college to have earned not only a degree but the knowledge that comes with learning how to afford something one really wants.

Even though I won’t be footing my children’s tuition, I’m not a complete Grinch. If my kids come asking me for money to pay for school, I’d be more than happy to give them a loan.

***

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This essay was originally published on FreeCapitalist.com. You can read all of Abel's FreeCapitalist essays here.

Decisions, Decisions

Our lives are all about choices. They’re measured in the way we choose to treat our spouses, children, siblings, parents, friends, co-workers, and casual acquaintances. They’re weighed by whether we choose to act with honesty and integrity in our professional and personal dealings. They can be summed up with what we choose to do with our unique talents and abilities. They’re about leaving our mark on this world in such a way that others will be glad we were part of it.

No one is perfect. We all make good decisions and bad ones. The best among us have their share of faults and shortcomings.  The worst have at least one redeeming quality. In the end, our lives are about what kind of people we decided to be.

I was thinking about this yesterday while at the funeral of my former father-in-law. Despite the fact that we parted on less than amicable terms, I still have good memories of him. He was more than willing to help people when in need. The two of us once spent a hot Saturday afternoon at his home replacing the alternator on my car when it went out. If anything ever broke at our home, he always volunteered to fix it. He also never wavered in his loyalty to his wife. He was faithful to her and willing to take care of her despite her schizophrenia.

Yet he made decisions later in his life that eventually alienated his closest friends and family. Life became about excuses instead of action, taking instead of giving. Friends and family became a means to his selfish purposes. If they couldn’t help him get what he wanted, they were worthless to him. Eventually even those who were closest to him wanted nothing to do with him. In the end, he died alone in a cheap motel room from a drug-fueled ecstasy.

Even though we may not see it at the time, the decisions we make have a profound impact on those around us. At some point we will be held accountable for the choices we make and the person we chose to become.

Hopefully our good choices will outweigh the bad ones.

Former Father-in-Law

My late wife’s father died last week of an apparent drug overdose. He was 52 years old.

No one was shocked that he died that way. Most family and friends were surprised that he lived as long as he did considering how hedonistic his lifestyle was.

The last time I spoke to him was at my daughter’s funeral five years ago. I think we exchanged general pleasantries but both seemed relieved that we would no longer be part of each others life.

It’s sad, really, that our relationship reached that point. But my former father-in-law had a way of making friends, family members, and even casual acquaintances want nothing to do with him. Even his son, his only surviving child, hadn’t spoken to him in over a year.

So I have a funeral to attend Thursday.

The only part of the service I’m looking forward to is seeing my late wife’s brother again. Aside from a telephone conversation about his father this weekend, we’ve been out of touch for a long time. It will be nice to talk with him again and see how he is doing.

Book FAQ

Q: Who is the audience of Room for Two? A: Room for Two is written for a general audience. You don’t have to be a widow, widower or even have lost a loved one to enjoy it. If you’re a fan of narrative non-fiction, like reading about true life experiences, or just enjoy a good love story, Room for Two is for you.

Q: When exactly is your book coming out?

A: This fall. I haven’t been informed of a specific release date, yet. As soon as I know of one, I’ll post that information on my website.

Q: I’ve read your old blog and love it. Is Room for Two just more detailed entries from your blog?

A: No. About 90 percent of Room for Two are stories and experiences I’ve never publicly disclosed before. Reading my old blog will give you a general idea of some events and the overall story but you won’t learn about some of the experiences I deemed to personal to tell at that time. You’ll also learn a lot more about my late wife, Marathon Girl, and about my pre-engagement relationship with Marathon Girl and some of the issues we dealt with that’s only been briefly touched on both on this website and my old blog.

Q: If I buy a copy of your book and mail it to you, will you sign it?

A: I’m currently looking for an inexpensive, secure online store solution so those want to can purchase personalized copies of Room for Two. I have a couple of things that might work but I’m not 100 percent thrilled with what I’ve found so far. If anyone has any online store suggestions, please email me.

Q: Are you writing other books?

A: Yes. I have a work of fiction I hope to have completed before Room for Two comes out this fall. If you’re on my mailing list, you’ll probably get a sneak peak this summer of what I’m working on.

The Card Says It All

The front of a card that Marathon Girl recently gave me:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sums up my life perfectly.