I’ve got some good news to share with everyone. Starting today, those who schedule a coaching session will have the option of choosing video coaching session through Zoom or a phone call. Before today phone calls were the only option. Over the last month I've tested out a couple of face-to-face video coaching sessions and it's been a great experience for those who have participated. Whatever method you prefer, coaching sessions are a great way to talk one-on-one about your specific situation and get your most pressing relationship questions answered. You can see my appointment openings and schedule a session here.
2018 was a busy year. I responded to over 1,000 emails, posted over 40 videos to my YouTube channel, and commented on countless posts in the Dating a Widower Facebook group. One of the things I heard from you over and over was the desire to discuss some of these issues in a private, one-on-one setting. As a result, I decided to offer consulting/coaching sessions starting next month.
To kick things off, I’m offering five free, 30-minute relationship coaching sessions. Four sessions will go to women who are currently in a relationship with a widower and one will go to a widower who's in a relationship or looking to get back in the dating game. You have until December 31, 2018 at 11:59 p.m. Mountain time to enter. Winners will be chosen as random and be notified that they won on January 2, 2019. Free session must be redeemed no later than Saturday, January 12, 2019. To enter. click here.
After reading my Sex and Intimacy with Widowers article, a reader asks if abstinence guarantees that a widower won’t leave the woman he’s dating.
The answer is no. Abstinence doesn’t guarantee that a widower won’t up and leave you anymore than sleeping with a widower guarantees he’ll be there for you tomorrow.
When it comes to getting involved with a widower phyically or emotionally, my advice has always been to take things slow. Most widowers—especially recent widowers—are quick to commit to relationships before they’re emotionally ready. As a result it’s not uncommon for them to end relationships as soon as things heat up. Taking your time in the early stages of the relationship with a widower can save you some heartache if the relationship comes to an unexpected. Taking things slow give you a good chance to learn if the widower’s ready to move on and start a new life with you or simply looking for someone to keep him warm at night. Widowers who are looking for an easy score or not ready for a serious relationship will have a hard time holding back if you put off his advances until you’re sure of his intentions.
When you decide to become physical with a widower is ultimately up to the two of you. Just keep in mind that the second most common issue in my inbox is from women who feel used and taken advantage of after sleeping with widowers only to be unceremoniously dumped soon after. If that’s something you want to avoid, take your time before sleeping with a widower.
Dating a widower can be emotionally taxing. The last thing you want is to invest time and your heart with a man that may not be ready for the serious relationship you’re looking for. There are 5 signs that the widower is actually ready to have a serious relationship and not using you to fill the hole in his heart or simply warm his bed at night. It doesn’t matter if he’s been a widower 3 months or 3 years, if he’s ready to get serious with you, this is the way to know.
1.He has no problem introducing you to his family, friends, and social circle.
A widower who’s ready to date again isn’t embarrassed to let friends, family members, and others know about you. You won’t be excluded from family activities because “they aren’t ready to see me with someone else” or because they’re “still grieving.” He won’t care what others think about him dating again. All he’ll care about is whether or not you’re happy. If he’s putting the needs of others above you, he’s not ready. If he’s happy to be seen with you and isn’t afraid to let the whole world know about it, that’s a sign he’s serious about the relationship.
2. He won’t pressure you to jump into bed with him
It can be difficult to get intimate with a widower – especially when you’re unsure whether or not he wants to do it simply because he misses regular sex with the late wife. If you’re not ready to take that step, don’t hesitate to say “no” when it looks like things are heading to the bedroom. A widower who values you and the relationship won’t have a problem waiting until you’re ready to take that step. And after you’ve said no, he won’t continually pressure you to hop in the sack or become upset that you’re not sleeping with him. Instead he’ll wait until you’re comfortable taking the relationship to that level.
3. He’s willing to talk about where the relationship is headed
Talking about where a relationship is going isn’t something men do a lot. However, when they meet the right person, they won’t have a problem discussing dating exclusively, getting engaged, or even brining up marriage.
The same goes for widowers. If he thinks there’s potential in your relationship he’ll let you know. If he avoids the subject, says he’s still grieving, or need more time, then there’s a good chance he’s not ready for a serious relationship.
4. He won’t let his grief get in the way
Believe it or not, there are widowers out there who will throw away the shrines to the late wife, sell their homes, and do whatever it takes to get over their grief as soon as the right person comes along. Instead of making excuses why the relationship can’t move forward, he’ll take the necessary steps to put the late wife to the side and make you the center of his universe. However, if he’s always telling you he’s still grieving, then it means he’s not ready. End the relationship and look for someone who can put his baggage aside because he wants to be with you.
5. His actions back up his words
Anyone can say “I love you” but not everyone can back up those words with actions. If he says that he loves you but is treating you like garbage, he’s not serious about the relationship. A widower who values you, will treat you like a queen. Don’t put up with behavior from a widower that you wouldn’t put up with from a single or divorced guy. Losing a spouse is no excuse for stringing you along. If he really loves you, he’ll treat you like he does. Don’t settle for anything less.
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More widower-related articles by Abel Keogh
- Up with Grief NEW!
- Dating and Marriage: One Regret NEW!
- Widowers: They're Still Men! NEW!
- 10 Dating Tips for Widows and Widowers
- Photos of the Dead Wife
- 5 Signs a Widower is Serious About Your Relationship
- How Vice President Joe Biden Dealt with Grief
- Life with a Widower
- Dating a Widower
- The Grief Industry
- Suicide Survivor
- A Letter to Elizabeth
- Sex and Intimacy with Widowers
- The Widowerhood Excuse
- How to Talk to a Widower
- Red Flags to Watch for When Dating A Widower