Note: You can see a video of this post here.
A viewer asks, “Abel, what if I took down the picture of him and his deceased wife on my own without his permission? I did it, and he didn’t say a word. Do you think he secretly resents me for it, or do you think he realized it was time to take it down?”
The only person who should be taking down photos or personal items connected to the late wife is the widower—not you. Now, you absolutely should speak up about how those things make you feel. But crossing the line and removing them yourself? That creates resentment, whether he says it out loud or not. You’ve planted a ticking time bomb in the relationship, and eventually it’s going to blow up.
What you should do is put the photo back up, apologize for taking it down, and let the widower decide when he’s ready to show he’s opening his heart to you. If he’s truly ready for a new relationship, those changes need to come from him—not from pressure or control.