Who Are You Now that Your Marriage is Over?

Note: You can see a video version of this post here.

Who are you now that your marriage is over? If you can't answer that, you're not ready to date-you're ready to repeat the same patterns and blind spots-only with a new person standing where your ex or late spouse used to be.

 The hard part about dating after divorce or being widowed isn't learning to love again but figuring out who you are without your ex or late spouse, your grief, and the old script running the show.

Maybe you're grieving a marriage that ended in a hospital room. Maybe you're grieving one that ended in a courtroom. Either way, the marriage is over-but if you're still making decisions like you're still in it, you haven't actually left it.

 You don't build a healthy future with someone else until you know who you are on your own. Your past shapes you, but don't let it write your next chapter.

Why It's Time to Discuss Holiday Plans with Your Widower

October is the perfect time to talk to the widow/widower you are dating about their holiday plans. If you don't, you might find yourself alone during the holidays.

Selfish Grief

Sometimes grief can become very self-centered. When that happens a person can have a hard time maintaining relationships. In this video, I discuss the signs of selfish grief, what one can do to look outward, and what those who are dating a widow/widower who are enmeshed in their own grief should do.

How Often do Widowers Change Their Mind?

How often do widowers change their mind when it comes to making his new love number one in his life? Find out in my latest Widower Wednesday video. https://youtu.be/z6ZKFwWW9Fc

My Widower Offered Me the Late Wife's Jewelry. Should I Accept It?

What do you do when the widower you're dating gives you the late wife's jewelry? Accept it? Run away? Relationship coach and widower expert Abel Keogh has the answer.

I'm Uncomfortable with My Widowed Dad Dating Again. What Should I Do?

Whether you're a teen or an adult, seeing your widowed father dating again can be hard to watch. What's the best way to talk to your dad about this or should you even mention it? Abel Keogh responds a comment left by the son of a widower and provides guidance on how children of widowers can talk to their father about this difficult subject.

How to Forgive a Widower and Move On with Your Life

Widowers often do or say things that hurt the women they're dating or married to. Sometimes they're small transgressions while others leave lasting emotional scars. No matter the offense it's vital that you forgive, forget, and move on with life. So how to do you forgive a widower who's hurt you? Relationship coach and widower expert Abel Keogh has the answer.

A Remarried Widower Reviews Netflix's "Rebecca"

"Rebecca" tells the story of a young woman who strikes up a whirlwind romance with a wealthy widower then moves to his mansion in England and feels she's living in the late wife's shadow. How realistically are widower issues portrayed? Is it a film you should watch with your widower? Widower expert and relationship coach Abel Keogh has the answer in this bonus Widower Wednesday video.

Widower Issues vs. Compatibility and Personality Issues

It's easy to get so focused on widower-related concerns that we think every relationship issue is related to his loss. That's not the case. In this video relationship coach and widower expert Abel Keogh shows how you can tell the difference between widower concerns and compatibility/personality issues.

Help! My Girlfriend Wants Me to Erase My Past? What Should I Do?

When starting a serious relationship is it acceptable for widows and widowers to have photos or mementos of the late spouse around? One widower feels like his new girlfriend's request to remove the late wife's photos and trinkets is the equivalent to erasing the past. Is it? Relationship coach and widower expert Abel Keogh has the answer.