Widower Wednesday: Ask Marathon Girl

Widower Wednesday

Last week one of the threads on the Dating a Widower Facebook group spawned a series of questions. After reading Room for Two, someone wanted to know more about Marathon Girl's side of the story. So I took some questions from the ladies of the group and asked Marathon Girl to answer them. I've posted the first two questions below.

If you have other questions you'd like to ask Marathon Girl, post them in the comments below or send me an email and we'll post them in the coming weeks.

Question from Lorie: How did you know Abel was ready to move on and make you number one?

Marathon Girl: The first big sign to me that Abel was ready to move on was he put his old wedding band away for good. To me that was the last big thing from the past he was holding on to. Mentally I think he was ready to move on but he still had to take that step of taking it off and putting it away. Once he took that step, I was ready to have conversations about the two of us spending the rest of our lives together. After that it was making sure that his actions matched his words. There wasn't much debate in my mind that he wasn't ready. There were small setbacks from time to time but mostly there were giant leaps forward. I couldn't have married him if I had any doubts about his readiness to make me the center of his universe.

Two questions from Jessica: 1) After reading Room for Two, I want to know why you decided to go to the cemetery with Abel on anniversary of his late wife's death. 2) Why did you want to know so much about Krista when the two of you were dating?

Marathon Girl: Losing a spouse helped make Abel the man he was then and is today. I didn't want to cut myself from that part of his life. I wanted to see how Abel was doing and have a better understanding of where he was. I also wanted to support him if he needed me. I didn't think I could do that staying at home. It wasn't an easy thing to see your husband crying over someone that he loved but I did it because I felt it was the right thing to do for Abel and our relationship. I have no regrets about that decision and am glad that I did it.

As for your second question, I'm an inquisitive person by nature. Abel loved someone enough to marry her. In order to better understand Abel and where he was coming from and what he had been through, I needed to know more about his relationship with Krista. If I pretended that she never existed, I'd be losing out on learning more about Abel and who he is and what made him the man that he was when I was dating him. It was also good to know about the kind of relationship Abel wanted the second time around.  I'm glad I did it as I was able to get a better picture of the man I was dating and how his first relationship influenced and shaped him.