From the inbox comes the following email:
Congratulations on your and Marathon Girl’s recent anniversary! It gives me hope that things can move forward with my widower. If I can ask, how are you and Marathon Girl able to make things work? Any secrets you can share would be great. My W and I are going through a rough patch and I really want thing to work out if at all possible.
Thanks for reaching out. There’s not really a secret to our marital success. We just put each other first when issues come up and things usually work themselves out. I know that it sounds simple, but it’s the key to any marital relationship.
Most of the time when I get emails from GOWs, WOWs, or widowers themselves asking for relationship advice, it’s because one or both of them aren’t putting the needs of the other person above their own interests, their kids, job, hobbies, etc. Admittedly it’s not always easy to do this and I don’t claim that me and Marathon Girl are prefect at this. However, when we’ve both put each other first the problem or issue in our relationship has generally worked itself out to the point where we can both live with it.
Sometimes this involves Marathon Girl and I talking things through and reaching some sort of compromise. Other times it means one or both of us have to delay or give something up in order for things to work out. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution for every problem or issue a couple may encounter. But if one or both of you don’t have the desire to put the happiness of your partner above your own, the relationship won’t last long. It takes two people learning about each other and growing with each other to give it long-term success.
I hope you can your widower can overcome this rough spot you’re going through and come out with a stronger relationship and more in love with each other in the end.
Hope this helps,