A recent experience shared on the Dating a Widower Facebook group started a lively discussion about what widowers shouldn't do on dates. Though I think the following three are obvious to most people, I’m putting them out there in case there is a person or two who needs a quick dating etiquette reminder.
1. Don’t Bring Your Late Wife on the Date.
While we all carry around bits and pieces of those we love and have loved in our heart and minds, it’s better to leave physical reminders about that person at home. That includes photos of the late wife, a small portion of her ashes in a small container, or other objects, like rings, that her ashes or other body parts have been used to construct. It’s tacky and gross to take those on a date. If you inadvertently bring one of these things along with you, don’t show it off. If you happen to show it to the woman you’re with, she’s not going to like it. She’ll probably be offended, grossed out, and/or appalled by it. Don’t be surprised if she grabs her purse and takes off on a dead sprint.
2. Don’t Take Photos of the Aforementioned Objects While on the Date
Cell phones make it easy to take photos. So if you happen to violate rule number 1, DON’T take a picture of one of the aforementioned objects while on a date. Don’t do when your date is present. Don’t do it when she heads off to the restroom. It doesn't matter if the restaurant you’re eating at or the place you’re visiting meant something to you and the late wife. Just. Don’t. Do. It. There will always be more opportunities to take photos. A date with someone else is neither the time nor the place for it. Take them at a later time.
3. Don’t Post the Photo on Social Media
Tools like Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Snapchat, make it easy to share photos with friends, family, and the entire human race. If you violate rule #1 and rule #2, DO NOT post the photo on social media with comments about how much the place you were at meant so much to you and the late wife and how much you miss her. This is especially important if the woman you’re dating with you is friends or follows you on the social media account you post it on. Awkward doesn't begin to describe the situation you've put yourself and your date in. Also, don’t plan on another date with that person.
Avoiding these three mistakes is good for a widower’s dating life and physical survival. I don’t think there’s a jury in the world that would convict someone for breaking to a homicidal fury after breaking all three rules. Proceed with caution should one choose to ignore this advice.
Can you think of other things that a widower shouldn't do on a date? Have your own horror story about something a widower did while dating you? Leave them in the comments below.