Note: You can see a video version of this post here.
Who are you now that your marriage is over? If you can't answer that, you're not ready to date-you're ready to repeat the same patterns and blind spots-only with a new person standing where your ex or late spouse used to be.
The hard part about dating after divorce or being widowed isn't learning to love again but figuring out who you are without your ex or late spouse, your grief, and the old script running the show.
Maybe you're grieving a marriage that ended in a hospital room. Maybe you're grieving one that ended in a courtroom. Either way, the marriage is over-but if you're still making decisions like you're still in it, you haven't actually left it.
You don't build a healthy future with someone else until you know who you are on your own. Your past shapes you, but don't let it write your next chapter.