Oprah Got It Wrong

Last night Oprah Winfrey called into Larry King Live to support embattled author James Frey and his "memoir" A Million Little Pieces. Said Oprah:

"...the underlying message of redemption in James Frey's memoir still resonates with me, and I know it resonates with millions of other people who have read this book."

What is relevant is that he was a drug addict who spent years in turmoil from the time he was 10 years old drinking and tormenting himself and his parents, and stepped out of that history to be the man that he is today and to take that message to save other people and allow them to save themselves....

To me [the controversy surrounding the accuracy of his book] seems to be much ado about nothing."

Sorry Oprah. The fictionalization of key scenes of a memoir is not much ado about nothing. Read the 13,000 word investigation by The Smoking Gun. We're not talking about forgetting something or someone recalling an event differently. Frey made up entire parts of the book. (For those who don't have to time to read The Smoking Gun report, Slate carries an excellent summary of the fabrications here.)

I'm glad the underlying message of redemption resonates with you, but that doesn't make outright lying in a memoir acceptable. If Frey wished to embellish his work to that extent, he should have marketed it as fiction.

Every reader should approach a memoir (or a blog for that matter) with a grain of skepticism. Memoirs are the authors retelling of events to the best of their memory. As I stated yesterday, two people who experienced the same event could recall it differently. But the two people should agree that the event and key elements of the scene happened.

The fact that Frey went to such lengths to make him look like a bad boy (when he was really nothing of the sort) casts doubt on the rest of his story. Though no one doubts he spent time in rehab, we may never know how much of that story is real.

Instead of defending him, Oprah, you should be taking a more serious look at the allegations. Defending a liar only makes you look gullible and dumb.

James Frey: A Million Little Lies?

I first read James Frey's A Million Little Pieces when first came out in 2003. I found the novel to be a fascinating (although slightly disturbing) read of his years as an addict and criminal who gets checked into a rehab clinic by his parents. So it was interesting to read what The Smoking Gun has discovered about the book. Apparently Frey fabricated entire parts of his "memoir" and embellished details of is criminal career. The allegations of falsehoods must be fairly serious because Frey's publisher, Random House, is offering refunds to those who bought the book directly from them. Talk about a career killer. If the publisher is refunding people copies, they must have some serious reason to believe there's more fiction than fact in the "memoir." And Frey's credibility as a writer was just flushed down the toilet. (For the record, Frey does a piss poor job refuting the allegations on his blog. (At this posting, the blog is no longer operational)

One thing I've learned about writing my own memoir is that it's highly personal. And when you're left to your own memory, some slight differences in how others recall certain events can and will differ.

For example, there is one scene in my book where I my dad and I go back to my apartment a few days after my first wife killed herself. In my memory we went back to pick up some clothes. When my dad was in the apartment gather a few things (I stayed in the car) he listened to the answering machine and retrieved a previously undiscovered message from my first wife. (A verbal suicide note, so to speak.)

When my dad read that scene over the holidays he recalled it a bit differently. He thought we went back for something other than clothes and recalled that my brother went into the apartment with him. Both of these facts could be true. My brother could have been with us and we may have gone back to the apartment for something other than clothes (though I can't think of anything else I would have needed at that time). However, my dad does remember going back to the apartment with me and remembers listening and being very shaken by the message on the answering machine and talking with me about it after he found it.

If people were simply saying they recalled an event in A Million Little Pieces differently then Frey, I would assume, like my dad and I, their recollection of the event differed. But once you fabricate an event in a memoir, it no longer becomes a memoir -- it's fiction. If Frey had to make up scenes in order to sell his book to publisher, that's unfortunate. He had tremendous literary talent. (One might say he had too much talent.) It will be interesting to see how this plays out. Whatever the outcome, Frey's credibility is shot. I doubt we'll see any more non-fiction books from him again.

***

On a happier note, is everyone else excited that there's finally a new episode of Lost on tonight? It's about time. I've been having severe Lost withdrawals. My addiction needs to be fed.

Maybe I should write a book chronicling my month-long withdrawal from Lost. I could say I was arrested for pirating copies of the second season, thrown out of the house by Marathon Girl for constantly watching reruns, and had to check myself into a rehab clinic specifically for those going through Lost withdrawal. The book might sell around 3.5 million copies and be picked by Oprah for her book club.

I think I'll start a first draft of the novel tonight-- right after the latest Lost episode, of course.

Barely Running

It's been unseasonably warm for January with temperatures in the mid-to-high forties. This is great winter weather for runners. Marathon Girl has been taking full advantage of the weather lately and improving her running time. She came back from a run Saturday afternoon out of breath but excited. "I just ran four miles at 7:30 per mile," she said and sat on the floor exhausted.

I congratulated Marathon Girl on her time then started thinking about my running. I realized I haven't timed one of my four mile runs in months. So this morning when I dressed for my run, I made sure to wear my watch so I could time myself.

I pushed myself hard during the run. I wanted to have a nice time to show Marathon Girl. Four miles later, my side aching, I finished the run and walked slowly up the sidewalk toward home. Once inside I looked at my watch. My time: 33:15 (about 8:18 per mile).

When did I start running so slow?

Granted, I don't run every morning anymore (I lift weights three days a week and run three days a week) and without a race to train for, I don't have much of an incentive to run somewhere in the neighborhood of 7:00 minute miles. But 8:18 feels really slow especially when Marathon Girl (who had a baby three months ago) is already running much faster.

I think Marathon Girl just gave me plenty of incentive to pick up the pace.

The New Job

I've been on the new job a week now. (Kudos to those who picked up on the subtle announcement in my last post of 2005.) I'm enjoying the new job and responsibilities immensely. Though I still don't know everyone in the office, everyone I've met has been friendly and very helpful.

Most people assume that when you take a new job, it's because you were in some way unhappy with the old one. That wasn't the case with me. I liked the job I left. I enjoyed my responsibilities and had great coworkers. The company was growing rapidly, provided good benefits, and treated their employees relatively well. I made enough money to provide for our family and allow Marathon Girl to stay home with the kids. Many I have talked to have a hard time understanding why I'd want to leave an ideal job and work environment and try a different one.

Two reasons.

Over the last few months I came to the realization that there was little left for me to learn at my old job. I had been with the company nearly six years and had learned just about everything I could at my current position. With the new job I saw an opportunity to further develop my current skills and learn new ones.

Second, I came to the conclusion that the new job would allow me to help and influence more people. I was presented with a unique opportunity to use my skills in a way that I believe will be a force for good in the world.

After a week on the new job, both of these have turned out to be true.

I'm already looking forward to next week.

(Anyone wondering exactly what I'm doing, be patient. I'll have more on my new job later.)

Cinderella Man

One of my favorite activities is going to movies. I love eating big tub of buttery popcorn and watching a movie on the big screen. Before kids arrived, this is something Marathon Girl and I did quite often. But since the arrival of our two kids, our movie theatre time has been cut dramatically. (This isn't a complaint. I'm simply stating the facts.) To get our movie fix, I make a weekly trek to the local Hollywood Video to find something Marathon Girl and I can watch on the weekends. The one advantage that renting movies has is that through word of mouth, you can have a good idea which movies are worth renting and which ones aren't. People kept telling me good things about Cinderella Man but when it became available to rent, I always passed it up. The reason for this is that I'm not a fan of boxing movies. Most of them follow the same formula: a boxer hits on hard times, catches a break, wins the big fight and lives happily ever after. (Unless you're making the awful Million Dollar Baby in which case the movie ends when your manager helps you kill yourself.) Knowing how boxing movies tend to go, I didn't think Cinderella Man would be worth my time.

But when I went to rent a movie for New Year's Eve, I found my options limited. Sure, the video store had tons of movies in stock, but after walking through the store once, I realized that it was Cinderella Man or watching Dick Clark and Times Square count down to the New Year. (My other movie options were crapola flicks such as Stealth, The Cave, The Dukes of Hazzard, etc.)

Fortunately, Cinderella Man was nothing like I thought it would be. In fact, it's not really a boxing movie at all. It's really a story about a man who happens to be a boxer. The main story is about Jim Braddock's (Russell Crowe) relationship to with his wife (Renée Zellweger) and children. You see real emotions from a man who is doing his best to support his family during the depression.

The writers did a good job of creating real, complex characters your actually care about. Several times when they're showing the boxing scenes they'll cut to family members or friends who are listening to the fight on the radio. And you don't care that you're missing a couple of punches because you care enough about the characters that you want to see their reactions to how the fight is going.

The boxing scenes are well filmed and you're never left in doubt as to what actually took place during the fight. Ron Howard did an outstanding job directing it.

Cinderella Man is an excellent movie whether or not you're a boxing fan. It's a story of hope and love, and a couple that will do anything to make their marriage work and keep their family together no matter how difficult the circumstances.

(Watch this movie and then watch Million Dollar Baby and you'll realize what a mistake Hollywood made awarding the later the best picture Oscar last year.)

Cinderella Man 4 stars (out of 4)

Highlights of 2005

I like the end of the year. It allows me to reflect upon the year and goals I want to set for the next one. Overall, 2005 was a good year. Major events included:

2005 was indeed a good year. Here's to hoping 2006 is just as great.

Emergency Room Christmas

The emergency room wasn't where I expected to spend Christmas Eve. But that's where Marathon Girl and I spent our evening together. It all started Thursday afternoon when Marathon Girl went for a run. Almost home she tripped and fell. She broke her fall with her hands. One was fine. The other was scraped and bruised up quite a bit. It wasn't very painful so we decided to take a wait and see approach.

But by the evening of December 24, parts of her hand began to swell and we thought it best to have it checked out. So we left the kids with Grandma and Grandpa and drove to the emergency room.

Much to our surprise, the emergency room was packed with Christmas related injuries. The guy who walked in after us sliced open his hand when he was assembling one of his kids Christmas presents.

An hour later we were called back. After another hour of waiting there were X-rays taken of Marathon Girl's hand. Then the verdict came back: Her hand was not broken but severely sprained. They gave her a splint for her hand, told her to ice it and take ibuprofen and said we were free to go home.

We picked up the kids from their grandparents, took them home and put them in bed for the night.

Aidan's too young to know or understand who Santa Clause is but it didn't stop him from being excited upon seeing all the presents under the tree Christmas morning. He walked around, looking at them, saying "Wow!" I can now understand why my parent's looked forward to Christmas morning just to see the looks on our faces.

Aidan enjoyed opening both his and Steven's presents. (Steven slept through the entire present opening experience.) After opening one, he would sit and play with the new toy, very pleased that someone had given him something that made a lot of noise and had bright, flashing lights.

***

For Christmas I had a small number (20) copies of my book printed for friends and family. Even though I was proud of the book, it was a hard present to give. There's a lot of personal experiences in there that I had never shared with anyone other than Marathon Girl and it's always nerve wracking for me to bare my should to those I'm close to – especially when it involves showing how human I am.

But initial feedback from friends and family has been very positive.

Marathon Girl's father finished the book yesterday and told me that he thoroughly enjoyed it.

"Are you still glad I married your daughter?" I said.

He laughed and said that he was glad that I married her and was part of the family. And my sister just called and said she and her husband couldn't put it down. She also said the book answered a lot of questions she always had about what happened the day my wife died and what life was like for me.

I was glad to hear her say that. If it puts to rest questions friends and family have about my first wife's death and how I handled things, then it was well worth all the time spent writing it.

Merry Christmas

Hope everyone have a safe and fun-filled Christmas. I'll be back next week with some big news.