Technology killed the prank phone call

I received a phone call the other day. The scrappy voice on the other end of the line told me that the caller was still in stage of puberty where the voice is going from that of a kid to an adult. "Uh...this is Dave from...uh...Blockbuster. I'm calling about your...uh...overdue movies," the squeaky voice said.

Aside from the fact Marathon Girl and I don't have a membership at Blockbuster, there was something else that struck me odd about the call. The pubescent voice and the fact that the caller sounded like he was making this up as he went along reminded me of a novice prank phone call.

I decided to play stupid and see where the call would go.

"What overdue movies?" I said.

"You know...uh...those porno movies."

There was snickering sounds in the background.

Yep. Prank phone call.

"Oh THOSE movies," I said. "Has it been a week already? I didn't have a chance to watch 'Saucy in Salt Lake.'"

There was a pause on the other end. It wasn't the response the caller had been expecting.

"Uh...well...be sure to bring back all the gay porn too."

The comment was followed by sounds of muffled laughter.

"I've been meaning to tell you how much appreciate your recommendations in that category," I said.

There was another frustrated pause and more laughter. This time the laughter seemed directed at the voice on the other end.

"Just so you know, I have your phone number." I looked at the number on my caller ID and repeated the number.

"Oh crap," a voice said. It wasn't the caller's voice. It was younger and scared.

"Look, I'm not going to tell your parents." I said. "But you should know it's near impossible to make prank phone calls with all this telephone technology. Next time you might want to try a pay phone."

There was several moments of tense, muffled whispering.

"Sorry. We won't call again." the pubescent voice said and the line went dead.

After I hung up the phone, I realized it's been 10-15 years since I received or made a prank phone call. Caller ID, star 69, and other phone technology has killed prank phone calls. It's no fun making them if the person on the other end can track you down.

I wasn't much of a prank caller. I lacked the ability to be convincing because I would usually ruin it by laughing part way through the call. I wasn't a good prank caller. The few prank calls I did make were usually strange messages left on answering machines with fake numbers for people to call back. Yeah, that's what I did for entertainment when I was bored out of my mind.

It was Caller ID that officially ended the occasional prank call. I think it was my last year in high school when I prank called one of my friends. After I made the call, the phone immediately rang. "Thanks for the prank call," my friend said.

Of course even handedness denied any responsibility.

"I have caller ID," my friend said. "I know it was you."

Caught with my hand in the proverbial cookie jar, I don't think I ever made a prank phone call again. In fact, I don't remembered receiving many prank after that either. Technology took all the fun out of it.

What was most surprising about the prank phone call was that these kids didn't realize how easily their call could be traced.

The Most Amazing Pregnant Woman

My wife is the most amazing pregnant woman I've ever known. Take Sunday, for example.

We took a trip up to Sundance to see my brother who's working up there for the summer and writing his latest Broadway masterpiece.

After my brother gave us a little tour of the screening area and projector rooms, we decided to go on a hike to Stewart Falls above the resort. The hike was supposed to be less than a mile one way, flat, and very easy. However, we got lost on the road and ended up on another trail to the waterfall that was over two and a half miles each way and, in parts, relatively difficult.

Once we realized we were on the wrong trail, I asked Marathon Girl if she wanted to head back.

"Not a chance," she said. "I'm enjoying the hike."

Two and a half miles later we reached the waterfall (Yeah, I'm kicking myself for not brining my camera.), rested for 10 minutes then headed back. By the time we hiked back, Aidan was sound asleep, and my brother and I were fairly tired. Honestly All I wanted to do was go home and sleep for a couple hours.

Marathon Girl?

Flush with energy, she was ready to do the hike all over again.

Did I mention she's 25 weeks pregnant?

She's amazing. Absolutely amazing.

Kiss Private Property Rights Goodbye

Note: This is my second post today. Scroll down to read the first one.

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The Supreme Court usurped the rights of private property owners yesterday when it ruled cities may now seize private property and give it to other private individuals. Eminent domain now means the government can seize your property for things other than roads, schools, parks or other true public use projects. Kudos to Justices Sandra Day O'Connor and Clarence Thomas in their dissents (links to PDF) yesterday in KELO ET AL. v. CITY OF NEW LONDON.

O'Connor writes (emphasis mine):

Under the banner of economic development, all private property is now vulnerable to being taken and transferred to another private owner, so long as it might be upgraded -- i.e., given to an owner who will use it in a way that the legislature deems more bene­ficial to the public -- in the process.

Any property may now be taken for the benefit of another private party, but the fallout from this decision will not be random. The beneficiaries are likely to be those citizens with disproportionate influence and power in the political process, including large corporations and development firms. As for the victims, the government now has license to transfer property from those with fewer re­sources to those with more.

Thomas writes (emphasis mine):

This defer­ential shift in phraseology enables the Court to hold, against all common sense, that a costly urban-renewal project whose stated purpose is a vague promise of new jobs and increased tax revenue, but which is also suspiciously agreeable to the Pfizer Corporation, is for a "public use."

For those who own property, enjoy it while you can. Because if a business or developer can convince your local government that he can use your property better than you do, the city can take it from you and give it to the business or developer.

It's time to start kissing your right to property goodbye.

Eating My Humble Pie

I was fairly critical of the Detroit Tiger's when they traded Ugueth Urbina for Placido Polanco earlier this month. I didn't think it was a good move for a number of reasons. However Epiphany in Baltimore had some better insight on the trade and noted that it may not be that bad of a deal for the Tigers.

Since the trade Polanco is batting .405 (17-for-42) and the Tigers improved to 7-3 since adding him to the roster and are now one game over .500.

I was wrong.

Go Tigers!

The Run that Kicked My Butt

Running 15 miles in a 24 hour period wasn't as easy as I thought it was going to be. Not that I thought it was going to be a walk in the park, but the level of difficulty surprised me and the other runners on my team.

It didn't start out too bad.

I started my first leg -- a relatively flat five mile run -- around three p.m. in a small town called Paradise. I ran down some quiet, small town roads for about four miles before heading up a dirt road that winds behind the northern end of the Wasatch Mountains. (For a map of the race, click here.)

I ran well despite temperatures that were in the high 80s. Since I was getting pumped up for the run, I forgot to put on sunscreen. When I finished, I realized my head and neck and shoulders were going to be fried.

The race continued through some beautiful backcountry at an attitude of approximately 6,500 feet. (For those familiar with mountain peaks in Northern Utah, the peak in the middle of the photo is the back of Ben Lomond.)

Then came my second leg of the race.

And the problems began.

I had felt a little queasy after my first run but drank some Gatorade and water and forgot about it As the evening progressed, my queasiness increased and I began to feel cold. I told myself I was just tired and needed to rest.

So I pulled out my sleeping bag and tried to sleep before my run. It was a relatively short four mile run up the side of a mountain. I lay in my sleeping bag from 10 p.m. to 1 a.m. when I was told to get ready as the runner that was going to hand off to me was only 20 minutes out.

I put my sleeping back in the back of the van and was talking to some other runners on my team when the queasy feeling in the back of my stomach started heading for my mouth.

I'll spare the details but it's sufficient to say dinner and everything else that had been put in my stomach during the last 12 hours was now all over the road.

One of my teammates, a guy who runs 100 mile ultra-marathons for fun, asked me some questions on how I had been feeling and after listening to me manage a sentence or two between blowing chunks told me I was dehydrated and probably shouldn't run for a bit.

I was a little upset with this diagnosis. I've been running for five years and have never had a problem staying hydrated. (Pride. This is called Pride.) But since the ultra-marathoner was willing to run my leg, and I was heaving on the side of the road, I decided not to argue with him.

The ill feelings continued for the next six hours. I sipped water and Gatorade while the rest of my group ran the second portion of the race. By the time they finished running the second stage or our race, I was feeling better. By the time we were driving into Heber, I was starving. We stopped

After some breakfast I was feeling good enough to run my last leg of the race – a five mile jaunt through a small town near Heber.

Everyone in the van was a little concerned with me running again. But after repeatedly told them I was feeing fine they let me run on the condition that they'd wait for me in the van every mile and give me some water.

While I was waiting at the relay station, I stared talking to one of the race officials – an old man in his 80s who didn't seem all with it. And the race official mentioned to me there had been a course change.

He told me about a quarter mile past the park there was a church and I needed to follow the new arrows.

So when I started the run I made it down to the church and looked for the arrow telling me where to go. But there was no arrow.

Confused, I stopped and looked around. A second runner who was about 100 feet behind, caught up to me and asked where the arrow was. We stood around for a minute debating which way to run when a third runner ran past us and headed to the left. Not wanting to loose more time, we took off after the third runner.

About a mile down this road I mentioned to the second runner that it seemed like we were going in the wrong direction. The second runner insisted we were on the right road nodding to the runner in front of us and a couple runners behind us. To further bolster his claim, his van was stopping about every mile and offering him water. This made me wonder where my van was.

Meanwhile the rest of my team was patiently waiting for me at the first mile marker of the correct route. After I didn't show up after 15 minutes, they backtracked and started searching for me. After searching some side roads and the park where I had started and unable to find a trace of me they really started to worry.

Adding to their worry was the fact that vans for other runners were circling looking for other runners who had also disappeared. (At this point one of my teammates brought up the possibility of alien abduction.)

Meanwhile, I was running in the wrong direction with several other runners, looking at the blue sky and marveling how lucky I was to be running on such a beautiful day.

After running close to four miles, the other runner and I finally ran into an arrow that pointed us up a side street. As we turned the corner, three vans converged on our location. The drivers motioned us over to the vans and told us that we were on the wrong route.

Wrong route?

@#*&$#%^*&%@$*^#!

For a runner, there's nothing more deflating then to realize you've been running the wrong direction. In most races this means you have to return to the point you made the mistake and then run the correct route again. I ran the last four miles at a eight minute per mile pace in 80 degree heat. I was too tired to return to the correct route and rerun it.

Fortunately as they drove us back to the correct route, one of the race officials called the driver of this van and told the driver to drop us off about a quarter mile from the next exchange point and let us finish our leg that way.

My team was waiting for me at the next exchange point. After I handed off to the next runner, I finally realized how worried everyone had been. After assuring them I was alive and well and had not been abducted by aliens, we continued the race.

The final leg of the race that took us into Park City was beautiful. The road was about 8,800 feet above sea level. Parts of the road were still covered with snow.

As we headed into Park City, our excitement grew. The fatigue that had been with us for the last 12 hours dissipated. And 27 hours after we started the race, we crossed the finish line. Tired and sweaty we clapped and cheered that we had completed the race.

So, this begs the question: Was it worth it and would I do it again?

In a heartbeat.

It was one of the most challenging and enjoyable experiences of my life.

What I do when I'm alone

Marathon Girl and Aidan left last night for Idaho and the wedding. The evening passed quickly. I worked on my book for two hours and finished another chapter. It's coming along better than I ever thought. It seems like the more time passes between me and the events of three plus years ago the better perspective I have on things and the easier it is to write about them.

Marathon Girl called a little after ten thirty to let me know they had arrived safely. At that point I put the laptop away and went to bed.

I spent my first night alone in almost two years. I fell asleep just fine but woke up shortly after five in the morning and found that I couldn't go back to sleep without someone to cuddle next to.

So I lay in bed and thought about the relay race that begins this afternoon and the different legs I'd be running and tried to estimate the time I'd be running them. One late this afternoon, one around midnight, and one early Saturday morning. Then I got up and made sure I had everything packed for the race and the drive to Idaho Saturday night.

After the list was checked off, I did some dumbbell exercises for 30 minutes. Not sure that was the best thing to do considering I'll be running 15 miles in the next 24 hours but it helped pass the time which is what I was trying to do.

Around seven I kept listening for the sounds of Aidan waking up. It took me a minute to remember that he wasn't here.

Breakfast wasn't the same without him sitting in his high chair smiling at me.

Always listen to your gut

Many moons ago (January, to be exact) I signed up to be part of company-sponsored team for a 150-mile relay race that is to be held this weekend. This means I would run three legs totaling approximately 15 miles in a 24 hour period.

In the back of my mind when I signed up, my gut feeling kept telling me I shouldn't sign up. Something important was going to happen that weekend.

I told my gut feeling to shove it.

Time passed and occasionally chances arose to drop out of the race. When such a chance arose my gut feeling again told me drop the race.

Every time I told my gut feeling to take a hike.

A few weeks ago we received a wedding invitation in the mail that is a must attend.

Location?

Idaho.

Date?

This weekend, of course.

So what does all this mean?

When my last leg of the race is finished (somewhere between 6-8 a.m. Saturday morning) I have to make a three-plus hour drive to Idaho to make the wedding with a quick stop over at my parent's place to shower and clean up.

Did I mention the amount of sleep I'm going to get Friday night will be next to nothing?

Damn.

Always listen to your gut.