Note: You can see a video version of this post here.
A viewer writes: "Abel, my widower has asked that we take a break so he can get help with his grief and put his life back together. How long should I wait?"
How long should you wait? Well, you shouldn't wait. Don't put your life on hold for a man who isn't ready to be in it. Taking a break to "work on himself" may be genuine but that's his journey, not yours.
While he’s getting his act together, live your life. Date. Have fun. Do things that help you grow personally and professionally. If he eventually does the work, gets his act together, and comes back — you can decide then whether you still want what he's offering. But that decision gets made on your terms, not from a place of having waited around hoping he'd show up.
Most importantly, when you wait, you don't get those months or years back. Don't give them to someone who isn't even in the relationship right now. The right man won't ask you to wait for him to decide if he wants a life with you. He'll already know.