Two devils were sitting in Hell, looking bored. One devil sighed and said, "You know, Hell just isn’t as profitable as it used to be. We need to find a way to rake in more souls... I mean, money."
The second devil raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And how do you suggest we do that?”
The first devil grinned. “I’ve got it. We need to open a store. But not just any store. A place that makes the shopping experience so miserable that people think they’re getting a deal, but in reality, it’s pure hell. And they’ll keep coming back for more.”
The second devil thought for a moment. “Alright, I’m intrigued. What's your master plan?”
“Easy,” said the first devil. “We charge a membership fee. Not enough to make them angry, but enough to make them feel like they’re part of some exclusive club. No one wants to feel left out, especially when their pride is on the line.”
The second devil chuckled. “Yeah, that’ll get them hooked. What else you got?”
“We sell everything in bulk,” said the first devil, rubbing his hands together. “12 packs of olive oil, 50-pound bags of rice. You know, stuff they’ll never use but will think is a deal. We’ll play on their greed. They’ll end up buying way more than they need. Waste everywhere. It’ll be glorious!”
The second devil grinned. “I love it. And let’s throw in free samples at choke points in the store. Not only will they think they’re getting a taste of something special, but we’ll create bottlenecks so people can’t move! Nothing says hell like being stuck in an aisle for eternity.”
“Exactly!” said the first devil, his eyes gleaming. “And then we only open a few checkout lines. The lines will be long, torturous—just like their shopping experience. They’ll spend hours getting their stuff, and by the time they leave, they’ll feel like they’ve earned their deal!”
The second devil clapped his hands. “This plan is perfect! It’ll be pure chaos—and we’ll make a fortune! Now we just need a name.”
The first devil thought for a second, then snapped his fingers. “I’ve got it. We’ll call it... Costco.”