January 25th, 2009 | 119 comments
Dating a widower can be emotionally taxing. The last thing you want is to invest time and your heart with a man that may not be ready for the serious relationship you’re looking for.
There are 5 signs that the widower is actually ready to have a serious relationship and not using you to fill the hole in his heart or simply warm his bed at night. It doesn’t matter if he’s been a widower 3 months or 3 years, if he’s ready to get serious with you, this is the way to know.
1.He has no problem introducing you to his family, friends, and social circle.
A widower who’s ready to date again isn’t embarrassed to let friends, family members, and others know about you. You won’t be excluded from family activities because “they aren’t ready to see me with someone else” or because they’re “still grieving.” He won’t care what others think about him dating again. All he’ll care about is whether or not you’re happy. If he’s putting the needs of others above you, he’s not ready. If he’s happy to be seen with you and isn’t afraid to let the whole world know about it, that’s a sign he’s serious about the relationship.
2. He won’t pressure you to jump into bed with him
It can be difficult to get intimate with a widower – especially when you’re unsure whether or not he wants to do it simply because he misses regular sex with the late wife. If you’re not ready to take that step, don’t hesitate to say “no” when it looks like things are heading to the bedroom. A widower who values you and the relationship won’t have a problem waiting until you’re ready to take that step. And after you’ve said no, he won’t continually pressure you to hop in the sack or become upset that you’re not sleeping with him. Instead he’ll wait until you’re comfortable taking the relationship to that level.
3. He’s willing to talk about where the relationship is headed
Talking about where a relationship is going isn’t something men do a lot. However, when they meet the right person, they won’t have a problem discussing dating exclusively, getting engaged, or even brining up marriage.
The same goes for widowers. If he thinks there’s potential in your relationship he’ll let you know. If he avoids the subject, says he’s still grieving, or need more time, then there’s a good chance he’s not ready for a serious relationship.
4. He won’t let his grief get in the way
Believe it or not, there are widowers out there who will throw away the shrines to the late wife, sell their homes, and do whatever it takes to get over their grief as soon as the right person comes along. Instead of making excuses why the relationship can’t move forward, he’ll take the necessary steps to put the late wife to the side and make you the center of his universe. However, if he’s always telling you he’s still grieving, then it means he’s not ready. End the relationship and look for someone who can put his baggage aside because he wants to be with you.
5. His actions back up his words
Anyone can say “I love you” but not everyone can back up those words with actions. If he says that he loves you but is treating you like garbage, he’s not serious about the relationship. A widower who values you, will treat you like a queen. Don’t put up with behavior from a widower that you wouldn’t put up with from a single or divorced guy. Losing a spouse is no excuse for stringing you along. If he really loves you, he’ll treat you like he does. Don’t settle for anything less.
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