Life with a Widower: How to Overcome Unique Challenges, Set Boundaries, and Create a Secure, Lasting Relationship
You’re in a Serious Relationship with a Widower. Now what?
Loving a widower isn’t like dating someone who’s divorced or simply single. You’re stepping into a story that began before you and which hasn’t fully ended. His late wife lingers in his heart, his home, and sometimes in the eyes of his kids, family, and friends. So how do you know if he’s ready to love again? If he is, how do you build a future together without getting lost in the past?
This honest, practical guide gives you the clarity and confidence to deal with the special challenges associated with dating a widower. Inside, you’ll discover:
How to tell if he’s emotionally available or mired in sorrow.
When to be patient and when to walk away.
How to handle his kids, in-laws, and friends who might not be ready for you.
What to do with the late wife’s belongings.
How to create your own space, your own relationship, and your own future.
How to protect your heart without shutting down.
Written by remarried widower and relationship coach Abel Keogh, this book delivers no-nonsense advice and hard-won insight from someone who’s been there and helped thousands of women get the answers they need. It also includes over 20 stories from women who have traveled this journey.
If you’re tired of second-guessing where you stand and ready to find out whether your relationship with a widower has a future, this book will show you the way forward.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1: You Can’t Save, Heal, or Fix a Widower
Chapter 2: Love, Loss, and Long-Term Goals: Aligning Your Relationship Vision
Chapter 3: The Best Way to Honor the Late Wife
Chapter 4: Navigating Relationships with the Widower’s Children
Chapter 5: Navigating Relationships with the Late Wife’s Family, Their Friends, and Others
Chapter 6: Navigating Holidays and Family Traditions
Chapter 7: What to do With the Late Wife’s Things
Chapter 8: Should You Move in with a Widower?
Chapter 9: How to Break Up with a Widower
Chapter 10: What to Do When a Widower Ends the Relationship
Chapter 11: Widowers and Second Chances?
Chapter 12: The Power of Forgiveness
Chapter 13: The Courage to Commit
Introduction to the Second Edition
Dating a widower comes with challenges you probably didn’t anticipate, such as unsupportive children, untouched belongings, grief anniversaries, and holiday traditions that feel like someone else’s. At some point, questions start creeping in. Will his kids ever accept me? When will he go through his late wife’s things? Are we building something new, or am I stepping into a past life? These are the same questions I’ve heard repeatedly from thousands of women I’ve coached since publishing the first edition of this book 12 years ago.
Some of you are trying to deepen your relationship and commitment. Others are wondering if they should walk away. It often isn't easy to decide because most people around you don’t understand what you’re dealing with. As a result, you may feel incredibly isolated. That’s where this book comes in. While the first edition laid the groundwork, this expanded version goes deeper. It includes insights I’ve gained through coaching, plus new topics and tools to help you handle the emotional, practical, and relational challenges of building a life with a widower.
If you’re still in the early stages of dating, I recommend starting with my first book, Dating a Widower: Starting a Relationship with a Man Who’s Starting Over. It covers how to tell if he’s ready, what red flags to look for, and how to navigate those early grief milestones. This book picks up where that one leaves off: after you’re in an exclusive relationship and you’re starting to imagine a future together. This book will help you decide what’s working, what’s not, and whether you’re ready to move on or take the next step. You’ll also find stories from other women, practical advice, and honest answers to tough questions. All of this will help you know if your relationship is solid and give you the confidence to choose what’s right for you.
Abel Keogh
August 2025