How to fix the memoir genre

Excellent editoral in USA Today Monday titled How to fix the memoir genre. In it the author lays out four standards to fix the memior genre.

An excerpt from the editoral:

Standard OneMemoirs should be divided into at least two sub-genres, reflecting the different values that authors bring to the writing.

Memoirs that adhere to traditional standards of factuality should now be labeled as Non-fiction Memoir. In these books, no one brags he was in jail for three months if it was only three hours. No one claims to own a dog when she doesn't. The limitations of memory require the writer to recollect and re-collect the tiles of experience and arrange them into a meaningful mosaic. But nothing in the non-fiction memoir has been fabricated.

We need a different label for writers who choose other narrative methods. Perhaps the writer has invented dialogue, or combined two or three characters into one, or changed the location of an important meeting. For such work, I borrow a category from the movies: Based on a True Story.

Standard Two Memoirs should be labeled according to the writing strategies used to create the narrative. How would a publisher decide how to market a particular memoir? Is it a Non-fiction Memoir or is it Based on a True Story? Arriving at a responsible answer would be an art, not a science, and each publishing house might draw the line in a different place, but posing these questions to the author would help:

Are there any fictional characters or settings or scenes in your memoir? Are there any composite characters? Which ones? Have you conflated events or expanded time or space? Did you add any significant element to the story that you -- or someone else -- know to be untrue? If we revealed your method to the readers after the fact, might they feel deceived or disappointed.

I think having some guidelines would not only help create trust with the reader but help weed out the writers who want to fiction to pass as fact.

Superwoman

Marathon Girl wanted to run eight miles yesterday. It's been over a year since I've run that far. Since I added weight lifting to part of my exercise routine, the longest run I've accomplished is five miles. I'm in good enough shape that I knew eight miles wouldn't be a problem though I would probably lag behind Marathon Girl for the last half the run. We decided to do run two four-mile loops. The first one would take us out to the highway and back. The second loop would cut through our neighborhood then head out to the far reaches of the small town we live in.

I agreed to the eight miles because I miss running with Marathon Girl every day. Since the kids have come running together every morning simply isn't possible. So when the opportunity presents itself as it does most Saturdays, I'll run with Marathon Girl as far as she wants.

The second thing I agreed to -- though I had a hard time with this -- was that Marathon Girl would push the double-wide running stroller the entire distance. When we run together, we take turns pushing the stroller every other mile. It's hard work pushing the stroller when you run. It takes more energy and slows the one pushing the stroller about 30 seconds per mile.

My husbandly instincts tell me that I should be the one pushing the stroller the entire distance even though Marathon Girl is a much faster, stronger runner and quite capable of pushing the stroller the rest of the week without a problem. Marathon Girl did remind me that we were going eight miles and that if I wanted to run the entire distance, it would probably be best if I didn't push the stroller.

It was a good day to run. Temperatures were in the 60s. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. Both Aidan and Steven seem excited at the opportunity to spend some time outside.

I managed to say with Marathon Girl through the first four miles without much difficulty. But as we came back through our neighborhood, Marathon Girl pulled ahead. It didn't take long for her to have a half block lead on me.

Because it was such a nice day, there were a lot of people out in their yards mowing the grass or getting their flower bed ready to plant. I watch their reactions as Marathon Girl ran past. Most stopped what they were doing and waved or shouted words of encouragement. A few shook their head in disbelief as if they couldn't imagine seeing a woman pushing a double-wide stroller so quickly.

Most of these people know that Marathon Girl a fast runner and have seen her kicking my butt running on more than one occasion. Still, the sight of her beating her husband while pushing a double-wide running stroller always brings an amused smile to their faces.

"Did my wife run by here?" I said as I passed one man who was spraying weed killer on his lawn.

The man looked up the road just as Marathon Girl turned the corner. "You have quite a bit of catching up to do," he said, the smile on his face growing bigger by the second.

After we had our first son, it was somewhat embarrassing to run through the neighborhood and have Marathon Girl continually beat me while pushing a stroller.

But the embarrassment didn't last long. Marathon Girl is a great runner and watching her run with or without a stroller is a beautiful thing. She's an amazing athlete and I love watching her push her body to the limit each time she runs. I'm a lucky man to be married to such an amazing woman.

I love being married to such a wonderful athlete, great mother, and perfect wife.

I love being married to Marathon Girl -- the fastest woman I know.

The TV show that kills me

Lost is killing me. The show pulls me in deeper and deeper next week. *** Warning: spoilers ahead. If you'd rather not read about the plot, click here to read the rest of the post. ***

Who would have thought that Libby was in the same mental institution as Hurley? Marathon Girl and I didn't see that one coming. (Marathon Girl realized in the first 5 minutes that Dave was all in Hurley's mind.)

Marathon Girl and I were talking about whether or not this was a hint that all the characters on the island were in the same institution. Marathon Girl is unsure but I don't think the Island and inhabitants are in the castaways minds.

Having the island turn out to be some sort of dream or fantasy is a co-out from a writing/creative point of view. The writers of Lost are too talented to do resort to something so cliche. I think they're simply trying to throw us off the track of what's the purpose of the island really is.

But here's a thought. What if Libby is stalking Hurley? What if she followed him all the way to Australia and back simply because she was obsessed with him for some reason? Since she was in the mental institution, maybe she developed some sort of fixation with Hurley while he was in there?

Anyone else have thoughts on this latest twist?

*** End of plot discussion and (possible) spoilers *** I was listening to a talk show on the drive home yesterday and the host and callers were discussing Lost. Many of the callers were frustrated because so few of the questions have been answered on the show.

But the continuing mystery about the island and the strange things that happen on it is what I love about the show. The writers answer small questions each week but leave the bigger questions unanswered. I love how they concentrate on developing real but complex characters because knowing who the characters are and what makes them tick helps us understand their motivations for their actions. More importantly, it makes us care about them. And in the end when the whole mystery of the island is revealed I think it's going to make for a stronger show when we see the impact that island's mystery has on the characters.

I believe plot of the show is important too but in order to have the emotional payoff of good plot, we need to invest our feelings and emotions into the characters who are impacted by it.

I think the writers of Lost will do just that.

The one good thing about daylight savings time

Because of the exceptionally warm weather and the extra hour of sunlight we took Aidan to the park yesterday and let him play on the slides. Just last summer he was terrified of sliding by himself. He refused to go down unless you were holding his hand. Now he slides down and climbs back up as fast as he can go.

Aidan's not even two and I feel that he's already growing up extremely fast.

***

Tigers won their first game of the season yesterday. Hopefully this is a good sign of things to come.

Baseball 2006

The baseball season starts Sunday. The Tiger's first game is Monday.

Summer has officially arrived.

No regrets

Jay died yesterday. Jay was my age. Married. Had a five-year-old step son.

I worked with Jay at my previous job.

I never knew him that well. Most of our conversation was from the hellos we'd exchange when we'd pass each other in the halls.

But when a former co-worker forwarded me the email yesterday announcing his death, I was stunned.

Jay was young after all and in good health. One day he was fine. The next day he was dead. (The rumor is that he died from brain aneurism but no one really seems to know of this writing what killed him.)

Sudden, unexpected deaths like this always start me thinking about how I'm living my life. Because my life could be over tomorrow too. Or I could live for fifty years. Either way, it was time for one of those semi-annual checks to evaluate how I'm doing.

So yesterday, on the commute home, I thought a lot about my relationship with Marathon Girl. I can honestly say if I was to die tomorrow, I wouldn't have any regrets about our marriage. We spend all of our free time together. We support each other in our interests whether it be running marathons or writing books. We've taken trips together to see friends, family, and baseball games. We have two wonderful sons. In the three short years we've been married, we've done everything we wanted to accomplish in the first three years together.

I can't say that about my first marriage.

As good as my relationship was with my first wife, I took both her and our marriage for granted. I look back on those brief 35 months and wish I could have done some things differently like not spend more time together, taken that trip to San Diego my first wife always dreamed about, or been a comfort for her instead of indifferent as the insanity slowly enveloped her mind during the last few months of her life.

But I've learned from my mistakes. I've learned how short and fragile life is. And how important it is to live life so when our time does come, we have no regrets about our thoughts, actions, and relationships.

I hope Jay died with no regrets. I hope he can look back at his life and see a life well lived. And I hope that I can continue on the course I'm on so when my life is over -- whether that be tomorrow or in 60 years -- I can look back and not have regrets about the way I lived my life.

I hope that living a life without regrets is something we'll all be able to do.

Random Thoughts from This Weekend

I knew it was a sorry Oscar season but after watching Walk the Line with Marathon Girl Friday night I realized how truly sorry it was. Why that movie wasn't nominated for Best Picture is beyond me.

***

There are two things I'd never thought I'd do: live in Happy Valley and own a minivan. Eighteen months ago I moved to Happy Valley. Last week I became the owner of a minivan. I expect to wake up any minute screaming.

***

Spring arrived late this year. My run on Saturday morning in the bright, warm sunshine was the first time I actually had spring fever.

***

One reason we need to forgive others is so they can start forgiving themselves.

***

The best part about being married is lying in bed while a storm shakes the house and holding the woman of your dreams in your arms.

***

Another great thing about being married is waking up early one morning to realize the most beautiful woman in the world is cuddled up next to you.

More thoughts on Starving Artists

It was interesting to read the responses to my Starving Artist article. Some thoughts.

I never stated writers (or anyone else) shouldn't be passionate about what they produce. I think in order to write a good book, you need to be passionate and believe in what you are writing. However, I think writers need to take a long hard look at what audience they are trying to reach with their book and whether or not anyone else will care about it.

As many of you know, I recently completed a memoir. I put a lot of time and effort into writing it. However I did not write the book simply because it was something I wanted to write. I wrote the memoir because of the hundreds of emails I've received over the last few years from people who have been touched by my story. I saw that writing a book about the death of my first wife and infant daughter, moving on, and falling in love with my second wife could touch and benefit many people's lives.

For those who haven't gone through the process of selling a book to publishers and agents like I am currently doing, there is a hard reality they don't teach you in writing classes: agents and publishers want to know who will read the book you're writing. Agents won't represent a book and publishers won't publish a book simply because a book is well written. They expect the writer to know the audience the book is intended for. If a writer cannot define an audience for the book and point out why his book will stand out above similar books in the market, it will never be published.

The writer who I referred to in the Starving Artist had done none of this. He simply thought that by writing a good book he was entitled to be published and became famous. Before writing the book he never thought about who would enjoy reading the book outside himself and his immediate circle of friends.

Having passion about what you write (or paint or build or program) is a key part of becoming a successful. But passion is not enough. There are many artists out there with a passion for what they do but are destitute because they 1) don't know who they're making their products for and/or 2) don't take the necessary time and effort to sell their work to that audience.

Those famous artists and writers who died in obscurity and poverty didn't have to live that way. A little marketing and the ability to convince others that their books or art were worth buying would have gone a long way to help those artists become successful while they were alive instead of receiving the recognition after they died.

Currently I am writing on a work of fiction. I am very excited about the subject, the story, and the characters. However, I am writing this second book not because I think I have a good plot of interesting characters (I do) but because I see an underserved audience in the book world that would enjoy reading the type of fiction I'm writing.

Yes, be passionate about your writing (or whatever it is you like to do.) Just make sure there are many others who will enjoy what you create.

***

Finally, I would like to address the idea that when a book or work of art becomes a commercial success it is somehow not worth reading (or buying or admiring).

If you feel that you can't read a book because it's a best seller or because some talk show host has put her seal of approval on it then you are what I used to be: a literary snob. There are many great books that can be enjoyed that you don't need your secret English decoder rings (read: literary criticism) to enjoy.

I remember the first time I read Jurassic Park. I had shunned any books by Michael Crichton because I had been told that his books weren't worth reading and lacked any artistic merit. Instead I discovered that Crichton was a talented and imaginative storyteller who wrote a book that I couldn't put down. Was the book flawlessly written? No. Was a great piece of literature? Probably not. But Crichton told an amazing story and was rewarded for his efforts by having millions of that book sell and also made into a popular movie.

The story of Jurassic Park created value for millions of people. Though the book wasn't nominated for any literary rewards, it entertained millions of people. In my mind that makes the book far more valuable than some obscure book that is well written and won some literary prize.

And for those who think all commercially successful books lack artistic merit, you might want to read books like To Kill a Mockingbird, The Lovely Bones, Fahrenheit 451, The God of Small Things, The Time Traveler's Wife, or Catcher in the Rye.

Reading books that sell well can help you become successful full-time writer. Read best selling books and figure out how the writer is connecting to the intended audience. If you want to write murder mysteries, read the popular murder mystery books and figure out what the author is doing right. Then write your own book but make it better whether it be in terms of artistic quality, characters, plot, etc. (I'm not saying to plagiarize other books but figure out why these books are connecting with their intended audiences.) You don't have to "sell out" to become a successful writer. But you do need to know who you are writing to and be able to connect with that audience if you want to make enough money to do it full time.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying a well written book. There is something wrong, however, when you think others have bad taste simply because they enjoy books that are more popular than yours.

Starving Artists

Recently on an Internet discussion board I participate in, a writer posted a tirade on how he was being "forced" to take a corporate writing job in the real world to make ends meet. The writer had put over a year of his life into what he thought was the next great novel. After another year of attempting to market the book to agents and publishers, he was unable to find anyone interested in publishing it. The writer then lashed out at the publishing industry saying that they only cared about profits and not publishing great works of literature.

Those who replied to the writer were sympathetic to his plight and agreed that it was a shame this writer had to settle for a corporate job. Many echoed the oft repeated sentiment in literary circles that writers in general were underpaid because society didn't appreciate them or the fine pieces of literature they created.

My response to the frustrated writer was different. Though I sympathized with his frustration, I asked if he had thought about an audience for his book before he started writing it. Instead of writing a book that you like, I asked, why not write a book that other people would like to read? The question was not meant to be offensive. It was my hope that it would start the discussion group thinking about how a writer could create value for others by brainstorming strategies to determine what people want to read. Instead, the responses to my question revealed why there are so many starving artists in the world.

One person said a writer shouldn't be forced to create something for those who don't know what great writing really is. Another wrote that a full time writing career was impossible unless the author was willing to write self-help books, maudlin fiction, or formulaic romance novels. In short, these writers weren't interested in writing something that others would find valuable. They were only interested in creating something that was valuable to themselves and a close knit group of their literary friends.

If you want to make a successful career from something you enjoy doing, you need to find a way to make it valuable for other. You may be the best writer in the world but unless people are willing to purchase the books you write, you won't last long as a full-time writer. There are many writers who can write books that are technically superior to a romance novel, but there are few who can convince people that their story, characters, and overall message is worth a consumer's time and money.

The folly of focusing on what is valuable to the writer instead of the consumer is not limited to writers or others in the creative arts. I've known many engineers and scientists who were "forced" to work for a corporation because the pubic didn't realize how great their invention was or because they were unable to obtain funding for the research they thought was important.

People who make a living as writers or artists are not necessarily the best at their fields. They are successful because they have learned to create value for someone else. For the writer it means writing a book with a story and characters that people want to read. For an artist, it is creating a painting or sculpture that people want to display in a gallery or their homes. A musician needs to create a song that people want to listen to. An engineer needs to invent something that will truly make someone's life easier.

The world is full of starving artists. What separates them from those who are able to spend their time creating what they love successful is that they have developed the ability to create and sell something that people want to purchase. There are many talented people who could do what they love full-time if only they tried to create value for others instead of merely for themselves.

March Madness

I'm sure you're all dying to know which college basketball teams I picked to reach the Final Four. Here they are:

  • Memphis
  • Texas
  • Univiersity of North Carolina
  • Ohio State

Championship Game

  • Ohio State
  • Texas

Champion

  • Texas