Carol, The email addres you left on my contact form bounced. Here's my reply:
You're not being too sensitive. You should feel like the number one woman in the the widower's life. Instead, you're playing second fiddle to a dead woman.
The problems with the in-laws aren't going to go away either once you become engaged or get married. If anything they're going to get worse since the guy you're dating doesn't have the spine to stand up to his former in-laws.
Stop wasting your time on this relationship. It's time to move on and find someone who will treat you like the center of his universe.