Recently I’ve heard some dating horror stories from GOWs who met a widower through one of the many online dating sites. Since I only used an online dating site briefly before Marathon Girl came into my life, I don’t have a lot of experience on how things have changed. So with the help of the ladies on the Dating a Widower Facebook group who have met widowers online, here are some suggestions to creating a profile that will help your prospects of getting a date.
- Be honest. This one seems like a no-brainer but you need to be honest—even when you’re worried that being widowed might scare some prospects away. If you’ve only been widowed three months, let them know. If you’re just looking for a causal relationship, say so. Be honest about your age, height, and everything else. It doesn’t matter how minor of a detail it is. As they say, the truth will set you free. Dishonesty will only get you kicked to the curb once the truth comes out. And the truth will eventually come out.
- Post a recent picture. Don’t post one from your wedding day with the late wife cropped out or one from five years ago. Post one that was taken in the last couple of months. Make sure you’re not wearing a wedding ring in the photo. Also don’t post any photos of the late wife, her tombstone or anything else she was fond of. This is about you moving forward, not reliving the past.
- Be brief about the late wife. It’s okay to say how long you were married, how the late wife passed, and how long you’ve been widowed but keep it short and to the point. Don’t lead with it. There will be more time to talk about the late wife when the time is right.
- Don’t focus on your past. Everyone has a history but for some reason widowers tend to focus more than other on it. Don’t make this mistake. Talking about how much you love her and miss her will only scare women away and let them know you’re not ready to move on. Instead focus more on your hobbies, likes, and interests. Better yet, instead of just listing them out tell a story about a hike or some other trip you went on. Talk about your kids, employment, or something that makes you unique but doesn’t focus on the past. Show the women out there you’re an interesting person and ready to start a new chapter in your life.
Good luck.