Now Available!

I thought about our future and for the second time that day I envisioned a long, happy life together. But when my thoughts focused on the eternities, things got blurry. Could I move forward without all the answers?

We finished lunch and carried our dishes to the sink. As I rinsed off my plate, Abel set his dishes on the counter, stood directly behind me, and placed his hands on my hips. I closed my eyes and leaned against him, enjoying the feeling of our bodies pressed together. I knew if I turned around, Abel would kiss me. I rested the back of my head against his chest unsure if I was ready to take that step.

You don’t have to do this, I reminded myself. You can marry someone else. Someone who doesn’t have a wife in the next life.

***

When Julianna Taylor goes out on a date with Abel Keogh, she’s shocked to discover he’s a recent widower—he’s only twenty-six. As they continue dating, she falls in love, but a relationship with Abel comes with thorny questions about eternal relationships and her place in Abel’s heart. Can she continue without knowing how things will work out?

At some point, we all face questions that don’t have easy answers. How we choose to proceed amid doubt and uncertainty can define the rest of our lives.

This is Julianna and Abel’s inspirational, true story about their struggle to open their hearts and endure with faith even when the answers aren’t forthcoming.

Chapter 1

Julianna

When my fiancé, Abel, called me on the way to our wedding, I didn’t hear the phone ring. I was mesmerized by the Bountiful Temple, a large, white granite building nestled in the foothills above Bountiful, Utah, a leafy, affluent suburb ten miles north of Salt Lake City. It felt surreal that I was going to be married in this beautiful building. Since I was a teenager, I had dreamed of marrying my future husband in this sacred setting, and in a few hours, that wish would become a reality.

At some point, I noticed a muffled ringtone emanating from the bowels of my small duffel bag. I reached inside and dug through the makeup, hairspray, gum, and other essentials before finding it.

“Who’s calling?” my mom asked, turning to look at me from the front passenger seat.

“It’s Abel.”

My heart skipped a beat. Why is he calling? I checked my watch. We’d planned to meet at the temple in fifteen minutes. Did something happen? Is he having second thoughts? Worry and concern flitted about my innards like an overactive hummingbird.

“Are you going to answer it?” Mom asked, stalling my runaway thoughts.

Suddenly, I realized the minivan was quiet. The excited chatter from my three sisters in the back row had died down. My dad glanced at me in the rearview mirror, a questioning expression on his face. I answered the phone before it went to voicemail and steeled myself for bad news.

“Hey, sweetie. Where you at?” Abel said. His voice was happy and excited. I let out a breath and felt the tension in my body lessen.

“We’re about to exit the freeway.”

“Do you still want to get married?”

“I’m still planning on it if you are,” I said, the uneasy feeling returning.

“That’s great because I can’t wait to be your husband,” Abel said. “I’m leaving our place now. I’ll see you soon.”

Our place was a cramped, one-bedroom mother-in-law apartment four miles south of the temple. In the background, I heard a car door slam, followed by the vroom of an engine humming to life.

“I love you most times eternity,” Abel said.

“I love you most times eternity too,” I said, repeating our signature catchphrase. After we hung up, I exhaled in a deep sigh, somehow expelling all of the tension and anxiety packed into the previous thirty seconds.

“What did Abel want?” my mom said.

“He asked if I still want to tie the knot.”

“Well, do you?” my dad said, a big smile on his face.

“Of course, I do,” I said.

Laughter from my parents and sisters filled the minivan. I was too nervous to join in. Instead, I leaned forward to get a better view of the temple. In the morning light, its white façade stood in stark contrast to the brown, barren mountain.

I was excited to marry in the temple because Abel and I would be sealed in an eternal bond. That meant our marriage wouldn’t end when we died, but would continue throughout the next life. Though an eternal marriage was the realization of a lifelong dream, there was one twist I hadn't planned on—my relationship with Abel might include his late wife, Krista, who had died fifteen months earlier. All morning I had pushed aside any thought of Krista, focusing instead on Abel and the new life we were creating together. But as we drew closer to the temple, concerns bubbled to the surface. Would Abel feel less excited being married the second time around? Would memories of Krista hang over his head as we promised to remain faithful to each other?

As I stepped out of the van, I spotted Abel walking across the parking lot toward the doors. When our eyes met, a smile stretched across his face as he hurried toward me. He greeted me with a kiss, then took my duffel so I could carry my wedding dress.

“You look gorgeous,” he said.

“Thanks,” I said, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks.

“You ready to do this?”

The bird-like feeling in my stomach returned, but instead of being accompanied by worry, it was combined with sweet anticipation. I’m about to get married! I pushed thoughts of Krista firmly from my mind.

“Yes,” I said, taking his hand in mine. “I can’t wait.”