Personal Space: One Widower Tells Us What Dating Is Like After Losing a Spouse

June 17, 2017

Bravo TV's Personal Space blog posted a story about widower's moving on after the death of a spouse. I'm part of the story. Here's an excerpt:

When men are ready for commitment again, it’ll take some hurdles for the woman to get over in order to form a healthy relationship.

“I had my first serious relationship five or six months after my late wife died, and she was falling in love with me and every time I came home I felt like it wasn’t right. I thought oh, because of my emotional state, I’m still grieving, I can’t think through it straight. But a few months later I met Julianna who I’m married to 15 years, and we didn’t have these issues, everything just clicked,” Abel says.

He keeps some pictures of his late wife boxed up, and some pictures of his late baby daughter around the house, and says his late wife Krista crosses his mind “about once a week for two or three seconds” like "Krista would have liked that," and then it passes. But it was hard for Julianna in the beginning.

Read the entire story on the Personal Space blog.

Room for Two, Chapter 9

June 12, 2017

The first time I saw Julianna Taylor, I was sitting on the back pew of the chapel where the few single people in our church tended to congregate. The Sunday service had ended, and the congregation began to move toward the exits. Through the crowd I noticed a tall woman walking up the aisle in my general direction. She wore a long, yellow dress with small, green flowers that clung to the curves of her body perfectly. Her curly hair was the color of corn silk and fell just past her shoulders. As she drew closer my fingers and toes tingled, and my heart rate quickened. I looked at her hand to see if she was wearing a ring, then scanned the people around her to see if she had come to church with another guy. As far as I could tell she was single and alone. Though I attended church weekly, I had never noticed her before and wondered if she was visiting.

Room for Two, Chapter 8

June 5, 2017

It wasn’t until the end of April that I swallowed my pride and posted a profile on an online dating site. It was frustrating being able to post only a few paragraphs and a photo. I had no idea how to show I was just a normal twenty-seven-year-old who happened to be a widower. Each time I looked at the profile, the only thing I could see was the line that said "widower." Everything else seemed irrelevant.

Despite my trepidation, I began e-mailing women who seemed to have a lot in common with myself. One of them was a twenty-nine-year-old teacher named Michelle. She had short black hair, liked to read, watch movies, and run. After two weeks of exchanging e-mails, we agreed to a date the next Saturday.

An Update on My Next Novel

June 2, 2017

For those who have been asking about my next novel here's an update: The above image shows the chapter, page, and word count of a novel I sent off to my editor on Wednesday. Last night I commissioned a very talented individual to work on the cover. If all goes according to plan, this means I should have a finalized cover in the next 30 days and a finalized book ready for market in July or August.

Stay tuned for updates.

Room for Two on Sale for 99 Cents

June 1, 2017

The ebook version of Room for Two is currently on sale for 99 cents at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple's iBooks, and Smashwords. Sale runs through June 4.

This is a great time to buy it for yourself or someone else. But hurry because the book won’t be put on sale again.

Here are the links to purchase, if interested: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple's iBooks, Smashwords.

Room for Two, Chapter 7

May 29, 2017

The weather warmed in March, and it seemed everywhere I went, I saw either happy couples walking hand in hand, or single women, alone and wishing for someone to date. Or so I thought. Maybe it was hope. When I was shopping for groceries, for example, my eyes would roam from one woman to another, and with those I found attractive, I imagined myself asking them out. They always said yes, of course, and from there I would conjure up a whole life for me and whoever had caught my eye. From our first date, to falling in love, marrying, and living happily ever after, I planned out my life with each woman at a glance.

Room for Two, Chapter 6

May 22, 2017

In a college communications class I had read about couples who spent most of their lives together. After one died, it was common for the other to pass on soon after, even if he or she was in good health. At the time I couldn’t comprehend how someone could lose their will to live after their spouse was gone. But I began to, at least partially, understand how they felt. Krista had been a significant part of my life for seven years — four as my girlfriend and three as my wife. My life had become completely entwined with hers. Now that she was gone, I didn’t feel complete. I had to force myself to live.

Room for Two, Chapter 5

May 15, 2017

The evening before I flew to Phoenix, I walked through the house and examined the work that had been accomplished. All the walls had been repaired and painted white. The old carpet had been torn out, and new floorboards installed. The bathroom had been gutted, and a new shower and toilet had been put in. The house smelled of fresh paint and was finally looking habitable. I was pleased with the progress.

As I paused in each room, I realized Krista had been right. The house had great potential. She had been able to look past the dead insects and neglect to see its true beauty. I had been too preoccupied with its disrepair to see that a little work could make the place livable.

Room for Two, Chapter 4

May 8, 2017

Per my request, only close friends and family members were invited to Hope’s funeral. After a large funeral for Krista, I wanted to keep this one private. Officially saying good-bye to my daughter was going to be the most difficult thing I had done, and I wanted as few people as possible to witness it.

There was another reason I wanted to keep Hope’s funeral small. Krista’s suicide had made everyone uncomfortable in my presence. I felt like a leper. People acted as if coming near me would spread some unexpected tragedy into their life. By this time, I realized their hesitation was because they didn’t know what to say. When a loved one dies from a tragic accident or an illness, most people can find words to express their sympathy. "It must have been his time," or "The doctors did everything they could." With a suicide, everyone avoided me, almost as if they blamed me. Most people couldn’t even choke out, "I’m sorry." In place of comforting words were a lot of questions no one dared ask. I saw them in the sad faces of family and friends. They wanted to know why Krista had done it. Why hadn’t I prevented it? How could I not know she was suicidal? Everyone looked to me for answers. I had none.

Room for Two, Chapter 3

May 1, 2017

I didn’t sleep much that night. In the morning I told my family it was because the living room couch was uncomfortable. But the real reason was that when I closed my eyes, I relived opening the door to the apartment, hearing the gunshot, running back to find Krista’s body. The only way to stop the images was to keep my eyes open and think of Hope. I thought about the last time I saw her before she had been taken to the waiting helicopter. The nurses had brought her out in a transportation unit where, if possible, she looked even smaller and more helpless. She was attached to a large machine that would keep her on life support during the short flight. I pressed my hands against the plastic shell that encased her. I wanted to hold her in my arms and whisper into her tiny pink ear, "Everything’s going to be all right. I’ll see you soon."

At some point sleep must have overpowered me for a few moments because at two thirty in the morning I awoke suddenly. I walked to the kitchen and stared out the window at the street, which was dark and quiet. I noticed my dad’s truck in the driveway and wondered when he had arrived and why he hadn’t come and talked to me.

Stay Connected

RSS Feed

Fresh Tweets