News Article on Room for Two

An article about Room for Two appeared in The Signpost, the paper of Weber State University, today. I've pasted the text of the article below. However, if you read it on the The Signpost website, you can see a photo of my late wife -- something I've never posted before. WSU alumnus writes about spouse's suicide in new novel, 'Room for Two'

by Seth Durfee

"Young pregnant wife commits suicide," that's a headline, which never ran - although it happened to author Abel Keogh's wife. Krista killed herself in November 2001.

"There's a taboo about suicide," said Keogh, who decided to help break that taboo by writing "Room for Two", a novel about his late wife's suicide.

Keogh, a Weber State University alumni, released his book August 2007. The book gives a straightforward look at his experience with his wife Krista, also a Weber State University graduate, who suffered from depression. She committed suicide at age 25 when she was seven months pregnant with their first child.

Keogh, who has since remarried and is the father of three children.

"After my late wife Krista's death," Keogh said, while holding two squirming sons on his lap in the living room of his Utah County home. "I tried to find on the Internet even one example of another pregnant woman committing suicide. I couldn't."

Keogh said a local newspaper ran an ongoing story about his wife's death for a day or two, but as soon as the paper realized was a suicide, all coverage stopped.

"You're not supposed to talk about it," he said.

The book relates the events following Krista's suicide. Keogh stressed the fact that he did not write the book to say, "I got through it and so can you." He wrote it to try and chip away at the taboo surrounding suicide. "People should know that it's OK to talk about," Keogh said.

He made almost daily entries on a blog after his wife's death.

"Ninety percent of what you find in the book is not in the blog and, in my opinion, the real meat of the story."

Keogh's motivation for writing the book is very personal.

"I didn't feel like there was a story out there that was really helpful to me." He said he wanted to write the book that he would have pulled off the shelf after his wife died.

"I've gotten a few e-mails from people who haven't necessarily had a suicide in their life, and they say how much it's helped them," Keogh said. At the time he recognized there was a problem but he didn't know what to do.

"Looking back I can see that there are things that weren't right. If she hadn't been pregnant I would have asked 'What's wrong with you,'" Keogh said.

For those who don't know what to do, Diane George, a licensed clinical social worker at the McKay-Dee Behavioral Health Institute in Ogden has some insights.

"Signs of depression can be Anhedonia, or a lack of interest from activities that normally provide pleasure, lack of appetite, weight gain or weight loss," George said. "People suffering from depression can also become isolated from friends and family or have a lack of concentration."

George said if an individual is experiencing these types of changes or feelings, talking to someone who will listen is a good course of action.

"Take a stress inventory," George said, "Reevaluate your status. Decide if the depression is situational or biological"

George said those who commit suicide often feel hopeless and alone.

Rebekah Clements, long-time friend of both Keogh and Krista, said she is still trying to cope with the guilt that came following the unexpected suicide.

"Krista's story was even more difficult to talk about because she was pregnant," Clements said. "There wasn't a support group for something like that. We really were alone." Clements said that it was very difficult when Keogh gave her one of the first copies of the manuscript. "There had been five years from the suicide to when I read it. It opened up a lot of memories that I've tried to forget," she said.

There isn't anything you can say about a situation like that, explained Clements, but maybe this is the only chance to bring a silver lining to the whole story. "I hope Krista would think two things about the book: that she would be proud of Abel for writing it and that the book will help people," Clements said.

"If I can help even one person feel like they aren't alone with something like what I went through," Keogh said, "then I did what I wanted to do."

Quick Update

I apologize for the dearth of updates. I've been using a lot of my free time writing my second book or working on some promotional efforts for Room for Two -- many of which should be bearing fruit over the next month. Stay tuned.

A Review of Room for Two

A review of my book, Room for Two, recently appeared in Meridian Magazine. My only comment on the review is that the reviewer seems to think the book somewhat fictionalized (the review appears in a column that reviews four other works of fiction). I'd like to state that the book is non-fiction and is based on my memory and journals of the time. The only things that were changed, as stated before the first chapter, were the names of some of the characters.  Here's the review in its entirety:

Room for Two is a look back by Abel Keogh to a tragic time in his life. Therefore it isn't entirely fictional, but is a somewhat autobiographical account written in a fictionalized form.

This is the story of a young man coming to terms with grief, guilt, anger, and profound loss. He steps into his apartment one day, calls out to his pregnant wife, and hears a gun shot. He's left to wonder why she killed herself and ultimately their unborn child. He also has to deal with the knowledge that he'd been prompted three times that day to do something other than what he'd done and in each case, following that prompting might have saved his wife's life.

The blood and horror of the situation leave him too shocked to apply the CPR that might have given their child a better chance of survival, and he has to live with that failure too. With Abel, the reader feels the anger and betrayal of a senseless death, the loneliness of the loss of a beloved companion, and the emptiness of a dream given no chance to live.

Through the year following the tragic death, Abel mourns, but he also reaches out for someone to understand and love. His search isn't always wise -- it's even selfish at times -- but he relentlessly pursues a course centered on getting on with his life that leads him to several kinds of relationships, the ability to forgive, and greater sensitivity toward others.

There's a strong thread dealing with running that weaves through the book. This thread is the means of providing insights, but is interesting in its own right as Abel moves from running as the means of losing weight to keeping pace with a dedicated marathon runner. Some of Abel's treatment of the women he dates is rather cavalier, and he's a little too casual about physical contact with them, but overall the book is interesting and well-written. It also has a good grasp of the various stages of grieving. The theme sounds dreary, but I think most readers will find the story, with its relentless drive to move forward, uplifting and a source of hope.

Interview with HALO

HealingAfterLoss.org interviewed me a few weeks ago. That interview was published in their newsletter that came out today. Here's a summary of the interview. FTFC: What inspired you to write Room for Two?

Abel: There were two factors that inspired me to write Room for Two. The first was that I had a hard time finding books that I could relate to as a young widower. All I could find were self-help books or a handful of poorly-told first person accounts from others who had lost a spouse. I didn't find the self-help books all that helpful and thought the first person accounts rather condescending and preachy. Those authors would stop telling their story and assumed that I was feeling the exact same way or was going the exact same emotions. On some level I could relate to their stories but I felt like these authors arrogantly thought they had the answer for everyone who lost a spouse.

However, the biggest reason I decided to write the book was because complete strangers told me my story was inspiring. About two months after my late wife passed away, I started a blog about my day-to-day experiences as a young widower. The blog became rather popular and I started to receive emails from people all over the world. Though I received many emails from young widows or widowers, most emails came from people who were happily married and told me how my experience made them appreciate their spouse more. Many people told me I should turn my story into a book and share it with people, so I did.

FTFC: How does Room for Two differ from other books about young widows or widowers?

Abel: I just tried to tell my story. I didn't try to interpret my experience for the reader. My hope is that I wrote it well enough that people will still be able to relate to it on some level even if they didn't lose a spouse to suicide. I think there's a universal feeling of sadness and loss that most people can relate to. I also think people like stories that show people rising and overcoming obstacles that are placed in their way. I believe I told the story well enough that when others read it, they can relate to it as well – even if they haven't gone through the exact same experience.

FTFC: Is Room for Two only a book young widows or widowers would enjoy?

Abel: I think the audience the book is much broader than that though I think young widows and widowers will get more than other people out of it simply because they can probably relate to my experience on a deeper level than those who haven't lost a spouse. Friends, family members, or those who are dating a young widow or widower might find it a useful roadmap as to what their loved one might be experiencing. Anyone who enjoys a good love story or a story about overcoming life’s trials would also enjoy it.

FTFC: What are some issues in Room for Two young widows and widowers might particularly be able to relate to?

Abel: Aside from the grieving and loss issues, about half the book focuses on my dating experiences. I had two relationships in the year following my wife's death - one good the other bad. My stories might highlight some challenges not only young widows and widowers but what those dating them might experience as well.

FTFC: Was writing the book difficult?

Abel: I've always thought of the first draft of Room for Two as my own personal therapy. The first draft was also plain awful. However, once I had the story out on paper, I was able to take a step back and look at it objectively, edit it, and do the necessary rewriting to make it publishable.

FTFC: Are there any parts of the book that are still hard for you to read.

Abel: I still have a hard time reading the parts about my daughter, Hope. It was very fortunate that Hope was able to live as long as she did. The death of a child is something you never really get over. Even though it's been five years, I still can't read the parts about her without tearing up.

FTFC: Tell us a little about your life now? Does your story have a happy ending?

Abel: I've been happily married to a wonderful and beautiful woman named Julianna - the same Julianna that I date in the book - for four years. We have three kids and despite the stresses that come with raising a family, I couldn't be happier.

FTFC: Where can people learn more about Room for Two?

Abel: They can read a summary of Room for Two and the first chapter on my website: www.abelkeogh.com.

You Don't Have to Join PayPal

I've received a couple of emails from people who want to purchase a personalized copy of Room for Two but believe they have to join PayPal to do so. For those who may think this, you don't have to join PayPal to purchase a personalized copy of my book. All you need is a credit card. From my webstore, after you've selected your shipping destination and entered in who you would like the book personalized to, click Proceed to Checkout. You'll be directed to PayPal's website where you can review your order.

On PayPal's site you'll see the following message right above Visa, MasterCard, Amex, Discover card logos that reads: "Don't have a PayPal account? Use your credit card or bank account (where available). Continue."

Click on Continue and that will take you to a screen where you can enter in your credit card information (or bank account if you want to pay that way) and place your order.

Though PayPal would like you to join them, it's not required to purchase personalized copies of my book.

If anyone has further questions about this, feel free to send me an email.

Order a Personalized Copy Today

Order a Personalized Copy Today

You might notice a new image on my website that looks something like this.

If you click on them, they'll take you to my web store, keoghcreative.com. At this store you can order personalized copies of my book, Room for Two. (You can also order non-personalized copies for family and friends if you want too. The personalization is optional.) This is a great chance to get early copies of the book.

Room for Two is also listed on Amazon.com though the copies from the publisher haven't arrived at Amazon's warehouse yet. If you prefer or order that way, you can do so by clicking on these icons that are also conveniently located on my website. Just remember that it might take 1-2 weeks before they receive books from the publisher and are able to ship it.

If you're looking for Room for Two in bookstores, be patient. It usually takes 4-6 weeks after the publisher receives copies for them to arrive on store shelves. I’m not sure at this time which stores will be carrying it but it won't reach shelves until mid-September or early October.

If you can't wait that long, order a copy from my store today!

It's Real

I received copies of Room for Two from the publisher. They look WONDERFUL!!!!

It's hard to believe I'm actually holding a copy of this book in my hands. All the years of hard work has finally become a reality.

I know many of you have asked to purchase signed copies of Room for Two. I’ll have a mechanism set up to do this on Thursday.

Please note it won't be available in book stores until mid or late September. Though it's listed on Amazon.com, they won’t have copies in stock for another 2-3 weeks.

Look for more information about getting copies before the general public on Thursday....