There's No James A. Madison

Many of you may remember this blog entry about a public school in my old public school district that made the mistake of booking the wrong John Stewart for their fundraising event. Well that wonderful school district is back in the news after making another silly mistake.

Utah's James A. Madison Elementary School may have a nice ring to it, but there is a problem since the nation’s fourth president didn't have a middle initial.

No one is really sure how the "A" became included in the name, which was among those submitted by teachers, students and parents from the Ogden School District.

Principal Ross Lunceford told the Ogden [sic] Standard-Examiner he wasn't going to try to get to the bottom of the "A" imbroglio, but will have to have the school's marquee changed along with the greeting on the answering machine.

The school board will also vote next Wednesday to ratify the James Madison name change.

"It's not that critical of an issue. We'll just take the A out and call it James Madison," said board President Don Belnap, who told the newspaper he didn't notice the problem with the initial even though he was a history major in college.

I really think its time the Ogden City School District replaced their current logo

with the modified FarSide cartoon

Interview with HALO

HealingAfterLoss.org interviewed me a few weeks ago. That interview was published in their newsletter that came out today. Here's a summary of the interview. FTFC: What inspired you to write Room for Two?

Abel: There were two factors that inspired me to write Room for Two. The first was that I had a hard time finding books that I could relate to as a young widower. All I could find were self-help books or a handful of poorly-told first person accounts from others who had lost a spouse. I didn't find the self-help books all that helpful and thought the first person accounts rather condescending and preachy. Those authors would stop telling their story and assumed that I was feeling the exact same way or was going the exact same emotions. On some level I could relate to their stories but I felt like these authors arrogantly thought they had the answer for everyone who lost a spouse.

However, the biggest reason I decided to write the book was because complete strangers told me my story was inspiring. About two months after my late wife passed away, I started a blog about my day-to-day experiences as a young widower. The blog became rather popular and I started to receive emails from people all over the world. Though I received many emails from young widows or widowers, most emails came from people who were happily married and told me how my experience made them appreciate their spouse more. Many people told me I should turn my story into a book and share it with people, so I did.

FTFC: How does Room for Two differ from other books about young widows or widowers?

Abel: I just tried to tell my story. I didn't try to interpret my experience for the reader. My hope is that I wrote it well enough that people will still be able to relate to it on some level even if they didn't lose a spouse to suicide. I think there's a universal feeling of sadness and loss that most people can relate to. I also think people like stories that show people rising and overcoming obstacles that are placed in their way. I believe I told the story well enough that when others read it, they can relate to it as well – even if they haven't gone through the exact same experience.

FTFC: Is Room for Two only a book young widows or widowers would enjoy?

Abel: I think the audience the book is much broader than that though I think young widows and widowers will get more than other people out of it simply because they can probably relate to my experience on a deeper level than those who haven't lost a spouse. Friends, family members, or those who are dating a young widow or widower might find it a useful roadmap as to what their loved one might be experiencing. Anyone who enjoys a good love story or a story about overcoming life’s trials would also enjoy it.

FTFC: What are some issues in Room for Two young widows and widowers might particularly be able to relate to?

Abel: Aside from the grieving and loss issues, about half the book focuses on my dating experiences. I had two relationships in the year following my wife's death - one good the other bad. My stories might highlight some challenges not only young widows and widowers but what those dating them might experience as well.

FTFC: Was writing the book difficult?

Abel: I've always thought of the first draft of Room for Two as my own personal therapy. The first draft was also plain awful. However, once I had the story out on paper, I was able to take a step back and look at it objectively, edit it, and do the necessary rewriting to make it publishable.

FTFC: Are there any parts of the book that are still hard for you to read.

Abel: I still have a hard time reading the parts about my daughter, Hope. It was very fortunate that Hope was able to live as long as she did. The death of a child is something you never really get over. Even though it's been five years, I still can't read the parts about her without tearing up.

FTFC: Tell us a little about your life now? Does your story have a happy ending?

Abel: I've been happily married to a wonderful and beautiful woman named Julianna - the same Julianna that I date in the book - for four years. We have three kids and despite the stresses that come with raising a family, I couldn't be happier.

FTFC: Where can people learn more about Room for Two?

Abel: They can read a summary of Room for Two and the first chapter on my website: www.abelkeogh.com.

Echo Park by Michael Connelly

(This post is for TheFlyingRat and Nixtress)

Is there a better writer than Michael Connelly alive today? Maybe one or two, but not many, that’s for sure.

I just finished Echo Park and once again I'm blown away by Connelly ability not only to tell a story but to add depth and to his characters that make them not only believable put people that you care about.

In Echo Park we find homicide detective Harry Bosch haunted by the murder of Marie Gesto -- a case he was unable to solve for the last 13 years ago. Out of the blue Bosch learns a serial killer is willing to confess to her murder and many others in order to avoid the death penalty.

For Bosch, now part of the Open-Unsolved Unit, his job is his life. He has a passion for it that others he works with simply don't have. Bringing killers to justice and giving family members some sense of closure is what he lives for. He's revisited this case many times over the and still stays in contact with Marie's parents to give them occasional updates.

Because Connelly does a marvelous job with his characters, we understand why Bosch acts the way he does in pursuit of the truth even if we don't agree with them or they comes across as reckless and dangerous. We also feel Bosch's agony when he learns he may have missed a clue many years ago that could have solved the crime and prevented other deaths and how that spurs him to do everything in his power to bring the murderer to justice -- even if it means losing a woman he loves.

Connelly does an excellent job with the serial killer character and showing us the man's distain for others. I'm also glad Connelly doesn't follow the Hannibal Lecter route when it comes to his serial killers. He doesn't have to stoop to the level of showing gross acts of torture or sadism. We see his callus regard for life through the serial killer's interaction with Bosch and others and through police reports. The few moments where we see the true dark side of the killer are done perfectly to horrify and illustrate just how far to the dark side he's gone, not simply to gross out the readers. But, like most of Connelly's villains, we're also able to sympathize with him just a little when we learn what may have led him down his dark path of destruction.

The plot is full of twists and turns that are real and don't feel contrived. The writing, like most of Connelly's work, is clear and crisp perfectly detailed so you feel like you're right behind Bosch as he pursues the truth.

A final good think about Connelly's books is that you don't have to read previous Bosch novels to understand his character or the story. If you haven't read any Connelly before, this book is a good one to introduce yourself to a wonderful writer and a thrilling story.

Four stars (out of four) for the thrilling and page-turning Echo Park.

You Don't Have to Join PayPal

I've received a couple of emails from people who want to purchase a personalized copy of Room for Two but believe they have to join PayPal to do so. For those who may think this, you don't have to join PayPal to purchase a personalized copy of my book. All you need is a credit card. From my webstore, after you've selected your shipping destination and entered in who you would like the book personalized to, click Proceed to Checkout. You'll be directed to PayPal's website where you can review your order.

On PayPal's site you'll see the following message right above Visa, MasterCard, Amex, Discover card logos that reads: "Don't have a PayPal account? Use your credit card or bank account (where available). Continue."

Click on Continue and that will take you to a screen where you can enter in your credit card information (or bank account if you want to pay that way) and place your order.

Though PayPal would like you to join them, it's not required to purchase personalized copies of my book.

If anyone has further questions about this, feel free to send me an email.

Order a Personalized Copy Today

Order a Personalized Copy Today

You might notice a new image on my website that looks something like this.

If you click on them, they'll take you to my web store, keoghcreative.com. At this store you can order personalized copies of my book, Room for Two. (You can also order non-personalized copies for family and friends if you want too. The personalization is optional.) This is a great chance to get early copies of the book.

Room for Two is also listed on Amazon.com though the copies from the publisher haven't arrived at Amazon's warehouse yet. If you prefer or order that way, you can do so by clicking on these icons that are also conveniently located on my website. Just remember that it might take 1-2 weeks before they receive books from the publisher and are able to ship it.

If you're looking for Room for Two in bookstores, be patient. It usually takes 4-6 weeks after the publisher receives copies for them to arrive on store shelves. I’m not sure at this time which stores will be carrying it but it won't reach shelves until mid-September or early October.

If you can't wait that long, order a copy from my store today!

It's Real

I received copies of Room for Two from the publisher. They look WONDERFUL!!!!

It's hard to believe I'm actually holding a copy of this book in my hands. All the years of hard work has finally become a reality.

I know many of you have asked to purchase signed copies of Room for Two. I’ll have a mechanism set up to do this on Thursday.

Please note it won't be available in book stores until mid or late September. Though it's listed on Amazon.com, they won’t have copies in stock for another 2-3 weeks.

Look for more information about getting copies before the general public on Thursday....

Getting to Know You

It was five years ago this month that Marathon Girl and I began dating seriously. One of my fondest memories of that time is sitting on her kitchen floor after a long morning run and talking about things like our favorite movies, books, and food.

Even though our opinions differed on a lot of things, I remember looking at her and thinking how comfortable I felt talking with her and sharing my thoughts and views. There was no worry between the two of us whether or not we even liked the same things. It was a chance to get to know the other person better and see how comfortable and compatible we could be even though in some ways we were very different from each other.

Even if you spend every day with someone, your tastes and opinions grow, develop, and change. Successful relationships are the ones where the husband and wife can still be in love with each other even as they slowly change over time.

Occasionally Marathon Girl and I have that conversation we had on her kitchen floor. We go over our list of favorite movies, actors, actresses, books, authors, athletes, sports teams, restaurants, main dishes, and hobbies. There are 35 items on our list and it's always fun to see where our opinions and tastes have changed since we first fell in love with each other.

Last night Marathon Girl and I had that conversation again. We brought out our list and asked the other person what some of their favorite things were. No, we don't guess what each other is going to say. We let the other person answer and then if the answer surprises us or has changed for some reason, we talk about why their tastes have changed.

Out of the 35 items on the list, there were six things I found out about Marathon Girl that I didn't know about. Marathon Girl found out seven new things about me. We thought it would just take 30 minutes to run through the lists. Instead we ended up talking late into the night and had a lot of fun doing it. In a way I felt like we were sitting on her kitchen floor again. Just the two of us and me falling head over heals for her.

It's easy become so accustomed to a person being part of your everyday life that you don't notice how they change in little ways. Sometimes if these changes go unnoticed for a long period of time, you wake up one day and realize that you're married to a complete stranger.

I'm glad I had the chance to get to know Marathon Girl all over again and realize how fortunate I am to be married to such a wonderful woman. 

More to Come...

My posting has been rather sporadic the last weeks as I've been setting up a small business so sell copies of Room for Two and manage other business related expenses of being an author. Though the process hasn't been difficult, it's been rather time consuming and also very educational. The good news is that it will all pay off next week when copies of my book become available.

More to come soon!

The Miniature Garden

 

Admittedly, Marathon Girl and I aren’t the best gardeners. This, however, doesn’t stop us from plating a small garden every year in the hopes of having some fresh vegetables to eat during the summer.

The last two years our garden has done quite well. We’ve had an abundance of tomatoes, squash, and corn despite adverse growing conditions and a lack of any natural gardening talent on our part.

This year something went horribly awry. Despite the fact that we fertilized the soil, weeded the garden, and did everything else just like the past two years, many of our plants have stubbornly refused to grow.

Oh, they’ve flowered and produced fruit. It’s just that the plants themselves and what they’ve produced have been very small.

For example, our squash plant has only spread out about eight inches from where it started. And though it’s produced a lot of squash, they all very in size from three to five inches. (See photo above.) The tomato plants are small and producing fruit about the size of cherry tomatoes. (No, we didn’t plan cherry tomatoes.) Our onions stand about three inches tall and have bulbs about the size of Molly’s fingernails.

We have no clue what has caused this. Our neighbors’ gardens on the other hand are growing normally and producing normal sized fruit. Some have suggested we didn't put enough nutrients in the soil. Others have said we didn’t give them enough water.  Most have just smiled when they've seen our Munchkin-sized garden. Whatever the problem is, the garden is beyond saving.

It’s too bad we didn’t plant corn. At least there’s actually a use for small ears of corn.

The Best Way to Reduce Childhood Obesity

In a move designed to fend off potential litigation and possible state and federal advertising regulations, eleven of the nation’s food and beverage companies have come up with their own guidelines regarding junk food advertising aimed at children under 12. According to the Los Angels Times, the voluntary ban includes junking ads for "candy bars, soda pop, and sugar-laden cereals, including such brands as Trix – famously advertised for decades as being ‘for kids.’"

While the pledges from companies such as General Mills, McDonalds, Pepsi, and Kraft may come as a welcome relief to parents tired of their children’s constant demands for sugary treats, it will do nothing to decrease the number of the nation's overweight and obese children.

Numerous studies have shown that a bigger contributor to childhood obesity isn’t the amount of junk food advertisements children are exposed to, but the amount of television they watch. One 2003 study concluded that children who watch three or more hours of television a day are 50 percent more likely to be obese than kids who watch fewer than two hours and that "more than 60% of overweight incidents can be linked to excess TV viewing." Another found that in "12- to 17-year-old adolescents, the prevalence of obesity increased by 2% for each additional hour of television viewed."

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, when you include videos, DVD’s, and other prerecorded shows, children watch about four hours of television a day. Times that by seven days a week and that means kids, on average, are spending slightly more than an entire day in front of the boob tube. The amount of television viewed shouldn’t come as a complete surprise considering the average home now has more televisions (2.73) than people (2.55) and one third of children as young as six have a television in their bedroom.

With the copious amounts of television being watched in American households, is it any wonder kids are becoming fat?

The solution to the growing obesity problem doesn't involve government advertising regulations or lawsuits against the junk food companies but, quite simply, better parenting.

In too many households television has become the babysitter, entertainer, and parent. It’s become the easy way to keep them entertained, distracted, and out of a mom or dad’s way for a couple hours. And while letting children watch an occasional DVD or cartoon in order to accomplish housework or other tasks may be at times necessary, letting children watch hours upon hours of television every day is simply irresponsible.

Turning off the television may at first invoke weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth from kids used to doing nothing else but staring at a screen with blank expressions, but being a parent often involves telling their children no and, if necessary, providing alterative activities.

Sadly, most kids probably get their television viewing habits from their parents. Those who watch a lot of television are probably most likely to have parents who also watch a lot of television. Part of getting kids off the couch and involved in more physical and meaningful activities may include getting their television-addicted parents doing something as well.

The results of a decrease television viewing can be very rewarding. Not only may kids (and adults) shed a few pounds but their school work might improve and family relationships become stronger.

I can defiantly attest to the latter. Even though I occasionally enjoy watching programs on our one TV (yes, we only have one), at the end of the day I’ve always found the time better spent with my wife and kids and have never regretted missing a sporting event or news program to spend time with them.

Curbing the numbers obese or overweight children doesn’t require government regulation or even self-regulation from the food and beverage industry (though the latter is appreciated). The solution begins at home with parents who can turn off the TV, remove it from their child’s room, monitor what their children are eating, and involve their kids in more engaging, stimulating, and ultimately more rewarding activities.

The result could change families and a nation for the better.

***

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This essay was originally published on FreeCapitalist.com. You can read all of Abel's FreeCapitalist essays here.