Pardon the new template....having some blogger issues that should be resolved soon...old template should be back before you know it. (I hope.)
Kicking the Bucket
I hit a bucket on the way to work this morning. I was doing 75 mph on the freeway when my car plowed into it. It was dark grey and plastic and sitting in the middle of the fast lane. The headlights of the car caught it about a spit second before I hit it. There was no time to react or swerve. I mowed it over.
At first I wasn't sure what I hit. All I knew was that it was stuck under the front bumper and made an awful grinding noise. I pulled over to the side of the freeway and tried my best to inspect the damage. The good news is that even though the bucket was large, it was made of plastic and was easy to dislodge from under my car. Apparently it didn't do much damage to the car other than a couple of scrapes to the bumper. The car runs like normal and there doesn't appear to be any leaks. (And I arrived at work wide awake with a good amount of adrenaline pumping through my body.
The situation could have been worse. I could have hit a person or animal and there could have been somewhat severe damage to the car. Fortunately it was only a plastic bucket that met its demise and all I just ended up with was a good scare.
Still, I can't help but wonder what in the world a grey plastic bucket is doing in the middle of the road.
Life Is A Gift and A Blessing
In preparation of the new bundle of joy that is on the way, Marathon Girl and I are moving the boys' bedroom upstairs and preparing the nursery. It's a lot of work and there's still a lot to do. When it's all done rooms will be thoroughly cleaned, walls will be painted, and old furniture sanded and re-stained.
So yesterday a long evening of cleaning and moving and trying to entertain the boys at the same time, we sat on our front porch drinking lemonade and watching Aidan run around the yard. The sun was slowly moving behind the mountains and air was filled with an orange glow. It was absolutely beautiful.
Marathon Girl held my hand and leaned her head on my shoulder. I put my free hand on her pregnant belly, hoping to feel the baby move. We watched as Aidan found a bug in the grass and put it in the plastic container he was carrying. Steven was sitting at our feet and tried to get Aidan's attention by shaking his arms and making noises that only a 10-month-old baby can make.
I love moments like these -- moment that make me realized how blessed I really am. I love having my family together. I enjoy having Marathon Girl, the love of my life, holding my hand and feeling the warmth of her body. I love watching my boys grow up and play with each other. I look forward to the daughter that will soon join our family.
Life is such a gift and a blessing. May we never take it for granted.
How The Best Team in Baseball was Built
For all those Tiger fans out there (I know there has to be at least one other person!), check out the great article on how the Tiger's become the best team in baseball. Very in-depth and shows how a few shrewd moves and good scouting can build a championship team.
The Challenges and Rewards of Parenthood
She can't be serious. That was my first thought when I read about the outrage over Helen Kirwan-Taylor's column 'Sorry, but my children bore me to death.' I thought that perhaps Kirwan-Taylor was being satirical and misunderstood -- like Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal.' Surely no one would admit that their children constantly bore them. Then I read the original article (it can be found here) and realized she really is bored to death with her kids. Apparently parenthood is an inconvenience to things Kirwan-Taylor finds more important: her career, shopping, and chatting with her adult friends.
How sad.
Kirwan-Taylor writes, 'I spent much of the early years of my children's lives in a workaholic frenzy because the thought of spending time with them was more stressful than any journalist assignment I could imagine.... I was begging the nanny to stay on, at least until she had read my two a bedtime story. What kind of mother hates reading bedtime stories? A bad mother, that's who, and a mother who is bored rigid by her children.'
Being a parent is the most difficult and challenging thing I've ever done but it isn't for everyone. It requires endless hours of sacrifice. There are diapers to change and messes to clean. There are sleepless nights whether the child is two or 17. It's a lifetime commitment. Even after children have left the nest, parents still worry and pray for them.
And, yes, there are times when parenting is overwhelming, tedious, and boring. My two-year-old son's favorite game is to stand at the top of the stairs and throw balls while I wait at the bottom to throw them back. After 10 minutes, the game is boring. Yet I play it with him for as long as he wants to because he loves it. The joy on his face is priceless and more valuable to me than any promotions, job, awards, or book deals.
Parenting, unlike Kirwan-Taylor's claim, is more than feeding, clothing, and letting your kids know that you love them. It also involves showing that you love them. After work I could spend my time reading, writing, or watching Sports Center but I choose to play with my kids. The most rewarding moment of my day is coming home and having my two-year-old son greet me at the door, hug my legs, and then tug at my hand while asking me to come play toys with him.
Like all parents, my wife and I need some time to ourselves. We savor the rare evening out on the town together. Those few hours away don't make us wish we didn't have children; rather, it makes us energized and excited to be with them again. We've also managed to have an 'adult life' that Kirwan-Taylor craves without making our kids feel like they're a second priority. I write books during nap time or after the kids are in bed. My wife trains for marathons. If you've ever seen her push our double-wide baby stroller while running sub seven minute miles, you'll understand why her neighborhood nickname is Superwoman.
With parenting, like all things in life, you get out what you put in. Now that Kirwan-Taylor's children are 10 and 12, they appear to show the same indifference towards their mother that she shows to them. She concludes her essay by writing, 'They [my children] stopped asking me to take them to the park (how tedious) years ago. But now when I try to entertain them and say: 'Why don't we get out the Monopoly board?' they simply look at me woefully and sigh: 'Don't bother, Mum, you'll just get bored.''
Apparently the boredom cuts both ways.
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This essay was originally published on FreeCapitalist.com. You can read all of Abel's FreeCapitalist essays here.
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It's a....
Results are in. It's a...
Girl!
Marathon Girl and I are both happy and excited!
Boy or Girl
Today Marathon Girl and I find out if the latest addition to our family is a boy or a girl. Cross your fingers that the baby will cooperate.
Addendum:
Comments on The Dream
I came back from vacation to find my email jammed with all sorts of feedback to The Dream. What surprised me though wasn't the number of responses but the mixed feedback it generated.
On the negative side, one person wrote that she felt bad for Marathon Girl and that I shouldn't have let a dream about my late wife bother me so much seeing how they "mean nothing to me." Another said the article was further proof that I had never moved on from the death of my first wife.
As for those who liked it, one woman wrote that being married to a ex-widower for 11 years, said that she could relate to one of those "out of the blue things" that happen when you're married to a widower. Another reader said that it made her admire Marathon Girl strength even more seeing how there are many who wouldn't be able to deal with the baggage that comes with marrying a widowed person.
Whether readers liked it or hated it seemed like just about everyone who commented or emailed wanted to know how Marathon Girl felt about the entire incident. (I'll get to that in a minute.) First let me explain why I even bothered writing The Dream and sharing it on my website.
Writing is the way I best collect my thoughts and try to understand what happens in my life. So after the dream, I felt the need to write something about it seeing how this was the first time I had dreamed about my since her death almost five years ago. The first draft of this article was a journal entry I wrote the day after the dream. This version was left unread in my journal until June when flipping back through it I decided to see if writing a more detailed version of events could help.
When the version I posed was complete, I was hesitant to share it on my website. Though I share quite a bit of my life with Marathon Girl and my family's life on this website, I share only those I think would be of help or insightful to those who read this blog. Most of the stuff related to my life are stored in the safe confines of my journal -- never to be read by anyone other than Marathon Girl until after I'm dead. I finally decided to share it and hoped it would illustrate one of the many unique challenges that are part of our marriage. When you marry a widowed person, the former spouse is part of the marriage. Not a big, everyday part but a part nonetheless and incidences like the one described in The Dream tend to pop up occasionally -- though they've become less frequent the longer Marathon Girl and I have been together.
So, how Marathon Girl feel about this whole experience? She was hurt. Very hurt. However, it wasn't the dream but my reaction to it -- the fact that the dream was powerful enough that it reduced me to tears -- is what really hurt. Everyone who's married wants to feel like they are the most important person in their spouse's life. For those who have read the essay, put yourself in Marathon Girl's shoes and think about what it would feel like if the love of your life dreamed about a former spouse. Stings, doesn't it?
Though I've mentioned this at least a dozen times before, I'm very fortunate to have Marathon Girl as my wife. Marrying a widowed person isn't for everyone. It takes a special person to want to be the second spouse because issues like this come up from time to time and it's something a lot of people would have a difficult time dealing with no matter how infrequent these moments are. I had this dream back in April. So far his has been the only serious "first wife" moment Marathon Girl and I have experienced this year. Will we have another "first wife" moment this year? I hope not. Our marriage is much easier without these occasional speed bumps. But if another incident were to arrive, our marriage is strong enough and channels of communication good enough that we can talk about and work through whatever comes up.
Finally, about a dozen people signed up for my mailing list after the July update went out. I'll include the link to The Dream in my August update for those who were signing up with the hopes of reading it. However, if you can't wait two weeks or so for the next update, send me an email and if you're email address appears in my mailing list and I'll send you the link so you can read what all the fuss is about.
Diagnois: Croup
The day after returning home from vacation, Aidan became sick. Diagnois: croup. Just as he started getting better, Steven started running a fever and not feeling well. Not sure what his problem is yet (he doesn't have the respitory problems Aidan had) but he didn't sleep much last night. This has left Marathon Girl and I quite tired today. So glad it's Friday. I'm looking forward to a weekend with (hopefully) lots of sleep.
Oh yeah. And my Tigers continue to dominate baseball and have a nice 8.5 game cushion on the stumbling White Sox. Go Tigers.
Random Vacation Thoughts
A three hour car ride goes by in no time when you have Marathon Girl to talk with. Drinking large quantities of water makes it hard to drive with out at least stopping once.
When it's 104 degrees outside, it makes me very glad can keep the inside of the minivan a constant 71 degrees.
Aidan is fascinated by farm animals. Steven is fascinated by new faces.
Even on vacation, I'm glad our kids have nap time. After chasing after our kids all morning, Marathon Girl and I need some downtime too.
Not only am I the only Detroit Tiger fan in the state of Utah, I'm also the only Tiger fan in the state of Idaho.
I think if we let Aidan live on a dairy farm, he'd be the happiest boy in the world.
Aidan thought cows were the coolest animal until one of them tried to lick him. After that he was convinced cows ate little boys.
The nice thing about Grandmothers is not only are they good cooks, they seem to have an endless supply of good food in their house.
I was amazed how well Aidan got along with his cousins, even though they were several years older than him.
I love our minivan more and more. Taking the same trip in one of our old cars would have been nearly as enjoyable.
One of the best parts of a vacation is being able to discover new running routes.
Where you go on vacation isn't nearly as important as who goes with you. For example you can go to a fairly normal, everyday place and have fun because you're with good company. On the other hand, you can go to a very exotic place and hate it because your traveling companions annoy you. Fortunately I have Marathon Girl to travel with and can have a good time wherever I go.
Nothing beats sleeping in your own bed.