Share Your Story

I’m in the midst of writing my final widower relationship guide. Tentatively titled Life with a Widower, the book will focus on the most common problems and issues not covered in my first two books. I’m hoping to have the book available before the end of the year.

And this is where I need your help.

My other two relationship books, Dating a Widower and Marrying a Widower have included wonderful stories from women who were dating or married to a widower. These stories have added insight to the chapter and helped countless others who are in a relationship with a widower. For this book I need stories from those who are or have been in a relationship with a widower. It doesn’t matter if you just dated a widower once or have been happily married to one for 30 years, if you have a story to share, send it in.

I’m looking for stories that can address the following situations:

  • How did the late wife’s Facebook page or other online memorials affect your relationship?

  • What happened when you gave your widower a second chance at the relationship?

  • How did get the strength and courage to end the relationship with a widower even though you were still in love with him?

  • If the widower told you about his sex life with the late wife, how did this impact your relationship?

  • How did memorial tattoos interfere with or enhance your relationship?

  • What are some ways you learned to better communicate with a widower?

  • How did you forgive a widower that dumped you, used you, or otherwise hurt you?

  • What did you widower do when friends and family kept trying to memorialize the late wife?

  • How did a long distance relationship with a widower work out?

  • Does your widower participate in annual events (like 5k runs) for the late wife or work in behalf of charities, foundations, or scholarships for the late wife? If yes, has that hindered or helped your relationship?

I’m looking for success stories as well as ones where things didn’t work out. Basically if you have a story that you think can help other girlfriends of widowers and wives of widowers with their current relationship I want to hear from you!

Please keep submissions between 250-750 words. You can submit more than one story but please send them in different emails. (This way I can organize them for quick reference.) Stories are due no later than Thursday, November 1, 2012. You can submit them by sending me an email here.

If your story is selected, you’ll receive a free copy of the new book as soon as it’s published. To protect your privacy, you can publish your story under a pen name if you wish.

Thanks for your help,

Abel

Helen Dennis: Learning to date after losing a spouse

A chapter of Dating a Widower (not Marrying a Widower as mentioned in the column) was extensivly quoted mentioned and quoted from in a Helen Dennis column in the Long Beach Press-Telegram in answer to the following question:

My father is 80 years old and lost his wife of 60 years about six months ago. He moved to a retirement community with lots of available women. The problem is that his first try at dating has backfired. He is distraught over what he perceives as a failure. I think he moved too fast, wanting to live with this woman after dating for only a few weeks. I would like to gently advise him without preaching. I might add, my mother did everything for him and was a full-time homemaker. Do you have any suggestions?

You can read Helen's answer here.

 

Final Call for Dating A Widower Stories

Just a reminder that today's the day to submit your stories for consideration for the upcoming Dating a Widower book. (If you ask nicely, I might let one or two trickle in this weekend. :-) ). The real life examples you submit can be either positive or “learning” dating a widower experiences or something in between. Basically we’re looking for any kind of story that can help women navigate the murky waters that come with dating a widower. Though you’re welcome to write about any dating a widower topic, I'm especially looking for stories that can answer the following questions:

  • How to get your widower to open up and talk to you about your relationship?
  • How you overcame insecurities in the bedroom about being compared to the late wife?
  • What have widowers done to make you feel like Number 1?
  • When did you realize it was time to end the relationship with a widower?
  • How did you deal with the widower’s adult children who weren’t accepting of their dad’s new relationship?
  • How did you get the widower’s minor children to accept you as the new “mom”?
  • How did you deal with special days like the late wife’s birthday, and wedding anniversary and other holidays?

To submit your story for consideration, send me an email. Please keep submissions to 500 words or less. You can submit more than one story but please send them in different emails. (This way I can sort them by topic better.) All submissions must be received by May 13, 2011.

The author of any story that makes it into the book will receive a free copy of the Dating a Widower book up publication. To protect your privacy, you can publish your story under a pen name if you wish.

If you have any questions about submitting a story let me know.

Thanks, and I’m looking forward to reading what you have to share.