Once the late wife dies, the late wife's family are technically no longer his in-laws. So what's the best way for widowers to refer to her surviving family without causing offence to them or the woman the widower is dating? As Abel Keogh explains, the answer is a lot simpler than you think.
Good news. I’ve successfully narrated one of my relationship guides. Audiobook coming out next month. Stay tuned for details.
Mother's Day can be a hard for widowers and new woman in their life--especially if there are minor children living at home. What are an appropriate Mother's Day activities for the widower to participate in? What should the woman do if she feels pressured to participate in such activities but doesn't want to go? Is there a place to honor the new woman as a mother or step-mother?
In this video, Abel Keogh reads an email from a woman who feels pressure to visit the late wife grave on Mother's Day. He also imparts three important pieces of advice that will make Mother's Day go smoother for the widower, women dating them, and the widower's children.
Good news! The second edition of Dating a Widower is just about done and I’m looking to add stories from women who are or who have dated widowers.
And one of the stories could be yours.
While I’ll consider any story that’s submitted, subjects that will give your story a leg up on making the new edition of Dating a Widower include:
Experiences dating widower soon after his wife passed away
What happened when you set healthy boundaries with a widower
Dating a widower with red flags
How you lost or rebuilt confidence when dating a widower
Regrets about not setting boundaries in the bedroom
How you handled the widower celebrating special occasions like the late wife’s birthday or her date of death
How you dealt with the end of a relationship with a widower
Your stories can have happy or heartbreaking endings, they can make the reader laugh, cry, or ponder their own relationship. I just want to you share stories from the heart.
If you’re want to share your story, email them to me no later than May 19, 2019. Stories should be no longer than 750 words.
Questions about sharing your story? Leave them in the comments below.
If you don’t want to share your story at this time, that’s fine. I’ll be updating my other relationship guides soon and maybe one of them would be a better fit.
When widowers make deathbed promises to their late wife, there are usually unintended consequences when they start dating again. Whether they promised their late wife never to marry or date again, never sell their home, or taking care of the kids, widowers are often racked with indecision and guilt when these promises get in the way of a new relationship.
In this video, Abel Keogh discusses whether or not widowers should keep deathbed promises made to the late wife and how widowers can find peace when they promises to the late wife run up against the new life they’re hoping to create.
Women dating widowers often wonder what they can do to help widowers overcome their grief and open their heart to a new relationship. Meanwhile, widowers may think that their grief never ends and struggle with starting a new chapter in their lives. What, if anything, can be done?
In this video Abel Keogh discusses 4 things widowers can do to take the first steps forward to finding the purpose and happiness to their life after losing a spouse. He also tells women things they should and shouldn't do to help widowers along this very personal journey.
Dating a widower you knew before he was widowed? What should you do if you have feelings for your deceased friend's husband? Are there certain red flags to look for? Is it common for widowers do date women the know for work or social circles before their wife died?
In this video Abel Keogh answers the questions from a reader who is attracted to her deceased friend's husband. He also discusses how common it is for widowers to date someone they knew before the late wife died and what, if any, red flags you should look for before dating a man you knew before his wife died.
I’m quoted in a USA Today sports article about New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft. Thought it was interesting the reporter was seeing if there was link between Myra Kraft's death in 2011 and his change since then. Until the reporter contacted me, I was unaware that Kraft was a widower. As stated in the article, I’m speaking generally about widowers and not Kraft specifically who I’ve never met or spoken with. It's noteworthy the reporter was trying to make that connection that most people don't even consider.
From USA Today:
[Steve] Comen knows [Robert] Kraft as a generous friend whose family didn’t own a car, whose father served as lay leader at the synagogue and whose core values of helping others were formed by age 13. Others recently have seen a more wild side and question whether he’s been trying to fill a void of loneliness after his wife of 48 years died of ovarian cancer.
“He’s been pretty open, at least he was with me, about how he was just so set adrift after his wife died,” said Mark Leibovich, author of a book published last year about NFL owners entitled Big Game: The NFL in Dangerous Times. “I think it’s just sort of an odd, kind of goofy but ultimately kind of sad story.”
To gain a better understanding of Kraft’s trajectory, USA TODAY Sports delved into his background through various sources, including historical records that show a public life that can be divided into three parts, each with threads running through today.
The changes in his public image still coincide with Myra’s passing, including even his public political brand:
► A longtime supporter of Democrats, Kraft recently has been tight with Republican Trump, who contacted Kraft to comfort him after his Myra’s death. “Bobby was very touched by that,” Comen said. Trump had been known to covet owning an NFL team and reportedly was in the mix for the Patriots before 1994. The bond between the two particularly strengthened during Kraft’s mourning of his wife.
► About a year after Myra’s death, Kraft began dating Ricki Noel Lander, 39, an actress he met at a party in Beverly Hills. After she had a baby daughter in 2017, a Patriots spokesperson took the unusual step of issuing a statement that asserted Kraft was not the biological father. “There’s something a little bit off about things like that,” Leibovich said. “I mean, you have about as buttoned-down of a football guy at the top of that organization in Bill Belichick, and then you have wacky stuff coming out like that.”
► Last year, Kraft visited rapper Meek Mill in prison and called for him to be released as part of a criminal justice reform effort he’s pushing with Kraft’s friend, Michael Rubin, the 46-year-old co-owner of the NBA’s Philadelphia 76ers. Mill had been imprisoned under questionable circumstances and was among those with Kraft at the All-Star Game this year.
► Then there are the Hollywood parties, often around awards season. This year, Kraft was spotted making the rounds during the same weekend the news broke about the spa in Florida. Leibovich, who interviewed and observed Kraft and other owners for his book, described Kraft as a “star (expletive).”
“He’s a pretty needy guy in his own way,” Leibovich told USA TODAY Sports. Some of it, he said, could come from feeling as if he’s third-fiddle on his own team, a secondary attraction to Brady and Belichick. Some behaviors seem to fit another pattern, too.
“Generally, what happens when a man loses his wife is he kind of loses his sense of purpose and direction,” said Abel Keogh, a relationship coach who has authored books about relationships with widowers after his own wife died in 2001. “Usually, wives have kind of a grounding effect on their husbands. It’s common for widowers old and young to start dating again quickly. They’re looking to fill that hole in their heart.”
Keough [sic] isn’t speaking about Kraft’s situation specifically. And Comen scoffs at any notion that his friend came unmoored, saying he’s “more driven to be even more active in even more things.”
You can find me at the Utah Book Marketing conference this weekend. Stop by and say hello if you’re there. More details at https://www.ubmcon.com/
This video is for adult children of widowers or those who have adult children who object to their father's new relationship. What do you do when you're widowed father starts dating soon after your mother passes away? Does it mean he didn't love his wife or that their marriage was a sham? What if you think the woman he's dating is taking advantage of him? In this video, Abel Keogh answers these questions and discusses some tips and tricks of dealing with the emotional situations for everyone involved.
Often widowers take their new love to the same restaurants, vacation spots, and trips as they went on with the late wife. Though sometimes this can be a red flag, it's usually a widower relying on old habits instead of making new memories. Is it possible to convince a widower to try new things? In this video, Abel Keogh discusses ways you can talk to the widower about making new memories, visiting new places, and trying new things that don't have the shadow of relationships past.
Many women break up with widowers only to have the widower come crawling back and asking for a second chance. What do you do when this happens? In this video Abel Keogh teaches you vital widower psychology so you can know if the widower has really changed or if he's looking to take advantage of you all over again.
Once again I have good news to share. One-on-one coaching sessions for those who are in a relationship with a widower and widowers themselves are now available. This is a great opportunity to discuss issues and concerns that are unique to your relationship in a private, one-on-one setting. For women in a relationship with a widower, these coaching sessions are perfect for discussing:
Whether the widower is ready to move on
Possible red flags
How to talk to a widower about your concerns
Issues with his children/family
Whether you should move in with a widower
A recent break up
Other related subjects
If you’re a widower, these sessions are great for discussing:
Getting back in the dating game
How to know if you’re really in love again
Making room in your heart for someone else
Issues with children/family who aren’t supportive of your new relationship
The best way to let others know you’re dating again
Other related subjects
Scheduling your coaching session is easy and takes only a minute. Click here to get started.
With so many confusing emotions that come with losing a spouse and dating again, widowers can find it difficult to know when they're in love again. Thankfully, it's not that difficult for widowers to know when they've found someone that they can spend the rest of their life with. In this video Abel Keogh explains the sure-fire way widowers, and those who are dating them, can know that they've found love a second time.
There are widowers who say they have no desire to get married again. Are they telling the truth? What should a woman who’s dating or living with a widower do if she wants to get married but the widower says marriage is "just a piece of paper"?
In this Widower Wednesday video, Abel Keogh walks you through some steps you can take in order to evaluate how serious the widower is about his refusal to marry again and what you should do if you want to get married but the widower refuses to tie the knot.
2018 was a busy year. I responded to over 1,000 emails, posted over 40 videos to my YouTube channel, and commented on countless posts in the Dating a Widower Facebook group. One of the things I heard from you over and over was the desire to discuss some of these issues in a private, one-on-one setting. As a result, I decided to offer consulting/coaching sessions starting next month.
To kick things off, I’m offering five free, 30-minute relationship coaching sessions. Four sessions will go to women who are currently in a relationship with a widower and one will go to a widower who's in a relationship or looking to get back in the dating game. You have until December 31, 2018 at 11:59 p.m. Mountain time to enter. Winners will be chosen as random and be notified that they won on January 2, 2019. Free session must be redeemed no later than Saturday, January 12, 2019. To enter. click here.
I came home the other day and found my kids watching the Widower Wednesday video about where to bury the second wife. Find out their reaction to that video as well as my wife's opinion on the burial issue. And in the end you'll see how their thoughts and opinions gave me a different perspective on where to be buried.
Widowers often ask Abel what they should do, if anything, to honor their late wife on their date of death. Women dating widowers often ask what their place is in a day that can be emotional for everyone. In this video, Abel Keogh shares what he did on November 10, 2018--the 17th anniversary of his late wife's death. He shares this as a guide for what other widows and widowers can do to in hopes that it make make these anniversaries less painful and more fulfilling.
With all the problems women experience dating widowers, many have asked whether widows and widowers are more suited for each other. In this Widower Wednesday video, Abel Keogh discusses whether widows and widowers should date each other and what they both need to do if their relationship is going to succeed.
Sometimes widowers say the darndest things. Knowing what they're really saying can be difficult. But with a little widower psychology 101 you can know what a widower is really saying. In this video, Abel Keogh gives you the tools you need to interpret the following statements:
"I don't want to get married again."
"I don't want to erase the late wife from the house."
"I want to take things slow."
"Moving on is very emotional for me."