The Best Obituary Ever
July 17th, 2012 | 2 comments
Val Patterson wrote his own obituary and in doing so probably wrote the best one I’ve ever read
I was Born in Salt Lake City, March 27th 1953. I died of Throat Cancer on July 10th 2012. I went to six different grade schools, then to Churchill, Skyline and the U of U. I loved school, Salt Lake City, the mountains, Utah. I was a true Scientist. Electronics, chemistry, physics, auto mechanic, wood worker, artist, inventor, business man, ribald comedian, husband, brother, son, cat lover, cynic. I had a lot of fun. It was an honor for me to be friends with some truly great people. I thank you. I’ve had great joy living and playing with my dog, my cats and my parrot. But, the one special thing that made my spirit whole, is my long love and friendship with my remarkable wife, my beloved Mary Jane. I loved her more than I have words to express. Every moment spent with my Mary Jane was time spent wisely.
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Now that I have gone to my reward, I have confessions and things I should now say. As it turns out, I AM the guy who stole the safe from the Motor View Drive Inn back in June, 1971. I could have left that unsaid, but I wanted to get it off my chest. Also, I really am NOT a PhD. What happened was that the day I went to pay off my college student loan at the U of U, the girl working there put my receipt into the wrong stack, and two weeks later, a PhD diploma came in the mail. I didn’t even graduate, I only had about 3 years of college credit. In fact, I never did even learn what the letters “PhD” even stood for. For all of the Electronic Engineers I have worked with, I’m sorry, but you have to admit my designs always worked very well, and were well engineered, and I always made you laugh at work.
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To the gang: We grew up in the very best time to grow up in the history of America. The best music, muscle cars, cheap gas, fun kegs, buying a car for “a buck a year” – before Salt Lake got ruined by over population and Lake Powell was brand new. TV was boring back then, so we went outside and actually had lives. We always tried to have as much fun as possible without doing harm to anybody – we did a good job at that.
Read the entire obituary here.
I think everyone should write their own obituaries. They’re a lot more personal, revealing, emotional, and they turn strangers into real people.
So even though I didn’t know Val, I’d like to thank him for setting a new standard in obituary writing. I hope others follow suit.
Update: The Salt Lake Tribune has a great follow-up to the obituary that gives greater insight to Val and his life.
Entry Filed under: writing
I have been datind a widow for the fist time in my life. It has been five months, and when I first met him he was wonderful, and I thoght this is great! he is not tarnished like all the other players that are out there – He constantly spoke of his wife and how he loved her and how perfect she was – he also said he never cheated on her – so I though these were wonderful traits – After a while of dating him I started developing feelings for him, and that is when I suggested that we keep ourselves in the present – He kept getting angry at the smallest of things, and when he did he would storm out – and then come back – he did this repeteadly – it then increased to disrespect and wrote emails that were not kind – then he would apologizie – I was on a true rollercoaster – but I stayed because when he was good he was better than anyone I had ever known – I never net his daughter – and the one time I went to his house, he had pictures of his wife all over the living room – and I understand the bedroom too – I never walked in his bedroom – He was keeping her clothes and when I mentioned that this was unhealthy he did get rid of them – but his daughter, 26 cried and was very upset that he donated the clothes to charity. The house was kept just as she had left it, and he even shared with me where she had put up paintings and why – I never visited his house after that time, I felt uncomfortable and intimidated as if I was a mistress to the wife. He kept me away from his 26 year old daughter, I know she knew of me becaus I sent her a birthday gift, and she text me to say thank you and on two ocassions she sent me samples from where she worked of spices – Last night we spoke of my insecurities and how he felt that i was – I thought about it and wrote him a long letter today asking him to go in his heart and to find out if he truly cared for me and wanted to commence a new beginning and if he wanted to do it with me. He repeteadly tells me he cares and loves me and wants to maryy me one day. But he also says he has to wait for his 26 duaghter to marry and move away from home before he takes down the pictures – he thinks it wont be long because she has a boyfriend – but who really knows when? she goes to the boyfriends house every weekend and during the week sometines, while Dad pays for the house, the car the and her exoemses – she has everythig and mostly the control of her father replacing her Mom with anyone new –
A few weeks back I caught him talking to a woman from an internet site, he called her and told her of me, but only because I insisted – he told he he was on many dating sites inckuding Russian brides ! since I am dating this man I have become anxious and nervous, unsure of myself – when I am with him I am happy and then all of a sufdden hes storming out of the hosue because either I did or did not do something he wanted or I told hin something he did not like – he says that he does this because he thinks I am going to leave him – I wrote the letter and told him to choose – and that we would work at movinfg forward slowly and that I would help him because I know this is not easy – I let him know that I undestnad that he does not want to hurt his daughters feelings, but that does not condone hurting mine – I asked him to think and take his time and let me know by mid day if he needed more time and he never called nor reached out to me- Please give me advise -
Wow. For what it’s worth, I think there are things that can be attributed to “the widower” and things that can be attributed to “the man”. It sounds to me that this “man” has some anger management issues and who is manipulative. He is and adult perfectly capable of handling his daughter in a compassionate way telling her he will always love and miss her mom but that he’s also alive and moving forward with his life. Given what you’ve said that he is out on the internet seeking out more women and he has stated that he has no intention to change anything about his life for a long, undefined time (i.e. until his daughter marries and moves out), I’d say he is playing you a bit. You have to decide, I think, if he’s having his cake and wants to eat it too….seems that’s the case as he childishly storms out and says unkind things, then excuses it saying he’s afraid you’ll leave him. Well, no kidding? I’d be considering leaving him too. A lot of widowers find that they like the new found freedom that no longer being married carries….yours might be one of those. Finally, he didn’t respond to your letter when you asked him too, even to say he needed more time. I don’t think he is treating your heart with the respect it deserves. I’m sorry, but given all you’ve said, I don’t think he’s a keeper. My advice is to end it and go find someone who is worthy of your love and returns it.