Note: I've got a fun announcement coming out Monday. If you want to be the first to know about it, sign up for my newsletter.
Dana posted the following comment on a recent Widower Wednesday post.
I am a widower and want to know if it is OK to propose to my girlfriend and give her the engagement diamond I bought 30 years ago for my first wife. It is large, beautiful, and I was planning to get it set in something my girlfriend would adore. The diamond is special to me (more than any new store-bought one could ever be) and has been a token of my love for 30+ years. Thoughts?
The diamond probably has a lot of meaning to you but it's probably not going to have the same sentimental value to your girlfriend. This isn't a diamond that your grandmother had or even your mother had. We're talking about a diamond that was worn by your late wife.
Think about that.
Would you wear a wedding band that your girlfriends ex or late husband would have worn? Wouldn't you rather have something that was meant something to you?
Your girlfriend is a different person. If you're going to ask her to spend the rest of her life with you, the least you can do is give her a new diamond or other precious stone—something that has special meaning for her. You're starting a new chapter in your life. There's no reason to make your past life a part of it.
As for your late wife's diamond, keep is somewhere special and safe and don't let the feelings, emotions, or memories that come with it interfere with your new relationship.