Q: Is it okay that the late wife has a stocking up?
A: It is if she’s around to get the goodies on Christmas morning.
Q: What about Christmas presents for the late wife?
A: See my answer to the stocking question.
Q: What if the widower wants to give me some of his late wife’s jewelry or other personal belongings as a Christmas present?
A: It’s not okay for him to do that. He probably means well but it’s seems a tad creepy. If it’s some kind of family heirloom, he should give it to (or save it for) his kids, a sister, or other family member.
Q: What if the kids want to give a present to their late mother?
A: If you feel it’s appropriate, it’s something they can leave at the cemetery or other memorial location. I don’t see a point in making it part of Christmas morning because that can really have a downer affect on Christmas morning/opening presents thing.
Q: What if the widower wants to visit the cemetery on Christmas day?
A: That’s up to him. Hopefully he’s aware of how that might affect his mood, your mood, and the general spirit of the holidays.
Q: What if my widower’s sad during the holidays?
A: That’s his problem. Don’t let his attitude or feelings get you down. If it’s too much for you to handle spend the holidays with people that will make you happy.
Q: How do you get through the two or three Christmas holidays without your late wife?
A: The first one was really rough but that was because she died six weeks earlier. Every Christmas after that was actually pretty good. I felt extremely grateful to have Marathon Girl as part of every Christmas after that one. It was hard to be sad with her in my life. If there were any lingering feelings of sadness, I did my best to help others. That always helps, no matter what time of year it is.
Q: If you could give widowers who might be struggling with the holidays without their late wife this holiday season any advice, what would it be?
A: Read this Widower Wednesday post and remember that life is always what you make it.
Hope all of my WW readers have a wonderful, safe, and happy holiday season!
20 comments December 21st, 2011